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10 Facts About the Disappointing University of Delaware Class of 2019

The newly matriculated UD Class of 2019 comprises students of a variety of backgrounds and hometowns, but to most upperclassmen and faculty, the freshmen are a mediocre mass of inexperience and misunderstanding. In the spirit of generalizing thousands of real people with actual thoughts and feelings, The Black Sheep is here to give you some key facts and statistics about the next set of Blue Hens to inherit heaps of debilitating student loan debt.

 

10.) Of the freshmen who attend Trabant Now and Perkins Live, the University’s free Friday night initiatives that provide safe and fun alternatives for students who choose not to drink or party, approximately 94% of them pre-game for it.

 

9.) Out of a student body of more than 4,000 freshmen, approximately none of them are named after Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

8.) As punishment for having been born too late to take part in the “I’m Schmacked” brouhaha of 2013, Residence Life & Housing assigned 30% of the freshman class to live in forced triples.

 

7.) Roughly zero Blue Hens in the Class of 2019 are or were widely considered to be a member of the Spice Girls at any point in the group’s illustrious career.

 

6.) The average member of the Class of 2019 skips approximately 4 meals each week due to a social inability to eat at the dining hall alone.

 

5.) Only 14 out of the 4,179 undergraduates in the Class of 2019 can actually count to the number 2,019.

 

4.) Approximately 47% of all of the conversations that have taken place between freshmen since Move-In Day have regarded or alluded to SAT scores.

 

3.) 394 members of the Class of 2019 have reminisced about living on West Campus in either the Dickinson or Rodney Residential Complex, which has been closed since the end of the spring semester last year.

 

2.) 92% of the current freshman class at the University of Delaware has tried to pay with Points, which are included in their on-campus meal plans, at businesses in downtown Newark entirely unaffiliated with UD. The remaining 8% of students have tried to pay with Flex money.

 

1.) The University of Delaware accepted about 65% of the applications it received for the Class of 2019. However, UD was not as selective as Sigma Phi Epsilon, which admitted only 31% of the wayward freshmen who showed up to their Rush Week house party.

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