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5 Dorm Essentials We Want You To Buy For When We Rob You

Back to school is always a busy and exciting time, but nothing compares to the beginning of your very first year of college. Freshman year is a whirlwind of newness, which can be just as overwhelming as it is exciting. So don’t feel too bad if you’re feeling a little lost, confused, naïve or vulnerable to theft as you begin to move into your first dorm room. It’s totally normal!

The good news is, we’re here to help. Here are five dorm essentials you definitely must have in your first room on campus, and if for whatever reason you don’t have all five items, well, that would be just really disappointing, wouldn’t it?

5.) Dualit New Generation Classic Toaster – 4 slice (in Azure Blue):

A classic must-have for your first college dorm! Every freshman must come equipped with a toaster of these exact specifications. We know it’s common sense, but sometimes freshmen can forget! If we happen to stop by your dorm while you’re out with your roommate at the dining hall, wouldn’t it be, ah, embarrassing, if you’d forgotten to purchase this item in Azure Blue? It would. 

4.) Hanging closet shoe organizer (in soft aqua):

This organizer is the perfect solution for storing all our–your–shoes! It’s lightweight and easy to fold up and stuff inside a medium-sized backpack quickly and inconspicuously. And look how nice that soft aqua color looks! How precious. 

3.) Women’s Hunter rain boots – size 6 (in violet):

Rain or shine, attending class is crucial to your success in college. A good pair of rainboots in this specific size and shade will be an absolute life-saver for those treks from north to south campus and back again.  You may say, “I’m not a size 6 though!” To that we respond, Oh freshman, you have much to learn! Oh and, whatever you do, don’t wear them or remove them from the box. That’s just common courtesy!

2.) 13-in MacBook Pro, 3.1GHz dual-core 7th-generation Intel Core i5 processor (in silver):

Chances are, you probably knew enough about college that you already purchased a new laptop to bring to campus. But if it wasn’t the MacBook Pro 13-inch 280GB with intel core i5 processer, we’re sorry to say you’re going to have to drop some more money on this dorm room essential. Go ahead and keep the one you originally purchased, just, like, in case anything were to … happen to this one.

1.) ISBN-13 #9781259317224, 9780133769395, and 9780321691699:

Your professors probably didn’t tell you this, but all freshmen need these three specific textbooks to ensure success in college. It is tradition for new students to have these exact books delivered to their dorm rooms, then leave them out in the hallway by your door overnight. While you sleep, the spirit of a wise alumnus will retrieve the package, and in return, you will be possibly be granted with a small bottle of half-empty Fireball. Isn’t college awesome?!

So, to all the freshmen reading this, we sincerely hope this clear and detailed list has put your mind at ease. With these five absolutely-essential items, your first year of college is sure to be a breeze! In fact, once you buy each of these things down to their exact specifications, we bet you’ll feel so at ease that you won’t even bother locking your door at night. Best of luck!

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