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5 GVSU Men’s Bathroom Tips

When you make your first visit to a Grand Valley men’s bathroom, you might think it’s just like every other bathroom you’ve needed to use, but you’d be wrong! These tips will make your GVSU men’s bathroom the best you’ve ever had to do your business in.


 1.) The Hooks Are for Bags, Backpacks, and Coats Only:





You’ll notice a hook attached to most of the stall doors and though it may appear tempting to see what sorts of things you can balance on them, they’re there strictly for things meant to be hung. Your longboard will fall to the floor, and your cheeseburger will do the same. Make your life (and the lives of the janitors) much easier, and just set whatever you can’t hang on the hooks on the floor, shelves, or on the back of the toilet seat.


2.) Provide your own soundtrack:






Ahh, the sounds of a GVSU bathroom…Nothing. Talk about self-conscious!


If you don’t want to relieve yourself with only the sounds of the void to comfort you, you’re more than welcome to create your own soundtrack to the experience. Play music through your phone speaker. Play something loud with no awkward pauses; the last thing you want is for someone to hear your pee-fart the second before the bass drops. Yeesh.


Poop loudly. Create a beat by hitting your hands against the wall, and let others join in. The possibilities are endless; it all depends on how you use the bathroom.


3.) The Urinals Work as Backup Sinks:





If your quick pre-class #1 has gone on longer than you planned, it’s entirely possible to use the water from a urinal flush to quickly clean your hands before you sprint to class. Flush while peeing; it really is energy saving! It’s not pretty, but is anything we do in college beautiful?


4.) Everything is up for grabs:





Your tuition offers you an incredible variety of resources at Grand Valley. Did you know that bathroom supplies are one of them? If you see a roll of paper towel, don’t hesitate to snag it and bring it back to your room. Bring a Ziploc bag and fill it with hand soap. Even if the toilet paper is locked, jiggle the side and it’ll pop open. One roll of toilet paper will last for weeks! 


5.) Follow the rules:




Ok so not everything is up for grabs. The mirrors placed in every bathroom are there for you to make sure you’re looking good, as well as to make sure none of the other guys in the bathroom are vampires. Stealing these mirrors is not only inconvenient (they are firmly attached to the wall and too large to easily carry), but is disrespectful to your fellow Lakers and increases the risk of vampire attacks.


Sometimes you find signs that tell you to wash your hands. So what? It’s not like you’re an employee! Unless you are an employee…then you should probably wash your hands.


If you follow the rules of the restroom – including unwritten ones such as not peeing in a urinal directly next to someone else – then you’ll be able to avoid confrontation with faculty and fellow students. You don’t want to get your face punched, get suspended, or get fired from Campus Dining, do ya?




We hope you found these tips beneficial and keep them in mind next time you plan to take your pre-class #2. Maybe bringing a pocket air freshener will be useful too!

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