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5 Reasons for Freshmen to Break Up Their Long Distance Relationship


You’re a few weeks in and already have doubts about how you’re “going to make this long-distance thing work” with the “love of your life” because it always works out in the end, right? Wrong. You’d be happier if you dumped your boyfriend, and here are just a few reasons to dump your long-distance Romeo to keep in mind as you twirl your promise ring.


5.) You’ll actually have to try in college:

It’s hard to focus on studying or homework when all you do is daydream of the worst scenarios. Where is he? What’s he up to? Why wouldn’t he cheat on you? You’re not there. Don’t delude yourself into thinking his hookup with the girl next door doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Next thing you know you’ll hear about his engagement to Trailer Park Tami Lynn or catch him on an episode of Catfish while you’re a year behind your estimated graduation date.

4.) You’ll see unicorns more than your boyfriend:

During move-in you told yourself your hometown isn’t that far away, but face it, after textbooks (read: frat cups) you don’t have money to cover a Greyhound and neither of your moms will be up for driving each week; you didn’t even see him on the long Labor Day weekend so you sure as heck won’t get a chance to see him any other weekend or holidays. There’s barely enough time to see your family! You’re living in a fantasy world: Santa’s not real, and he won’t bring you your boyfriend for Christmas!

But it’s worth it because you’ll get to spend a magical two months of your summer vacation together while you try to plan around each other’s summer job(s) schedules!  Pft. You’re better off dumping him for that cute guy who helped you move your mini fridge who lives one floor below you or the guy who just moved a seat closer to you in chemistry that one time.


3.) No diddlin’ to be did:

Your roommates are already sneaking in their boyfriends at night to get some stankie on the hangdown, and you’re sleeping alone. LAME. You won’t get to experience having a college romance (AKA sexin’ in different spots on campus)! Not to mention the hundreds of dollars you’ll have to spend on batteries and waterproof vibrators to use in one of the five communal showers…

Let’s face it, your self-esteem is really going to take a hit when Jenny’s boyfriend brings flowers to your dorm on Valentine’s Day and your boyfriend sends a funny e-card from 500 miles away a few days after your birthday. He won’t remember unless you’re there to remind him; he has other people to be concerned about, like himself and Trailer Park Tami Lynn he met at a kegger.


2.) Your lanyard won’t protect you:

Someone’s going to lose trust in the other when a text is missed or you’ll miss a Skype date because the wireless and cell service doesn’t come in well through your cinderblock walls. Someone will get jealous when they see a Facebook photo including a blond-haired blue-eyed someone they’ve never met – heck, it’s probably already happened once before. With his arm wrapped around her waist, don’t delude yourself, she isn’t his “new friend” or cousin.


1.) You’re the friendless newb people laugh at:

Your friends invited you to your first college party after the Homecoming game and “hot boys” will be there, but you’ll have to pass at the opportunity for those hook-ups; you’ve already “found love.” What are you going to do? Facetime Travis on your phone and bring him to parties with you? It’s a sure-fire way to keep away potential friends and even current friends who want to double date but “not like this.” Your roommate will roll her eyes from her loft and tell her friends how “pathetic” you are.


Romance comes and goes, but mostly goes. This isn’t your final relationship, college parties will provide you with many more opportunities at love, you’re only a freshman. You can’t drag your ball and chain with you your college career so cut that sucker lose, show a little leg, and find someone who’s here now!

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