Looking for that mid-semester bump-up in your grade? Face it; you’ve put in maybe a solid week of work this semester. Take the jet-lag from winter break mixed with your anticipation for spring break and your suffering grades got caught in your overlapping apathy. But hey, that’s what extra credit is for.
We’re not talking about a 5000 word research paper for 10 more points in j202. Forget that. These are some great ways to stroke your professor’s ego without extruding too much effort.
5.) Help Your Professor Burn Old Editions of the Text:
Who better to teach the class, and add copious spending cash to their own budget, than the person who wrote the textbook? Too bad there are so many old editions floating around out there with almost exactly the same information. You can help with that though, right? Your professor gets to pad her pockets, while she adds a little extra cushion to your grade. Sounds like a win-win… plus, fire, burning things and throwing books. Jackpot!
4.) Support Your Professor at Their Presentation:
When we say presentation we don’t mean a lecture or book signing; we mean when your calculus professor tries out his comedy career at the open-mic-night on Tuesday’s at the 608 bar. And when we say support, we don’t mean listen closely to provide meaningful insight later; we mean get as drunk as possible so at least one person is laughing as they completely bomb.
3.) Let Your Professor Steal Your Lunch Money Everyday:
Make sure you don’t just offer it to them. That’s plain insulting. They don’t actually need it; it’s all about the power. ‘Oh how the tables have turned since elementary school,’ they’ll think. Your professor really just needs a confidence boost. Everyone wants to be a badass, even in a sweater-vest with matching socks. Just eventually threaten to tell Becky Blank unless they promise to fix your grade. The secret here is the timing… and the number of singles you carry.
2.) Secretly Filling Out Extra Surveys for the Review Board:
“I need a student to volunteer to take these eval forms to the office?” *wink wink* Yeah, this is definitely an invitation for you to throw out everyone else’s mediocre evaluations and stuff that envelope with 5-Star reviews. Maybe throw a few stinkers in there that are so absurd the board disregards them as written by stressed-out unstable students. Tenure’s just around the corner after all. And what’s more important: your grade in this one finance class, or this terrible professor becoming immortal in the eyes of the school’s executive board? Exactly.
1.) Do All the Dirty Work When Your Professor Switches TA’s Mid-Semester:
“Wait, Chelsea? What happened to Jeff?,” – that annoying girl that no one likes anyway. You shoot a death glare across the room at her and slowly slide your finger across your throat. So what if your favorite t-shirt is covered in blood now? Your professor is happy and owes you big-time. It’s not that you’re a cold-blooded killer per se… but it was either your old TA Jeff or your grade at the bottom of Lake Mendota. What were you supposed to do? You already bought your plane ticket to Florida for Spring Break. That would of been like $250 down the drain, while you moped around the library.
Then again, professors seem to walk a fine line with the law here. Maybe you should just consider writing that research paper…