The autumn quarter has officially begun. Classrooms are full of eager students ready to get out of class, freshmen are wandering around the STU still not sure how to swipe for their meal, and the things on everyone’s mind is: How do I know if I should drop this class? Fear not, we have all the answers.
5.) If The Professor Has Fewer Classes Than You Do:
Think about it, being a professor is almost the same thing as being a student except they get paid. Reading papers and grading tests can be exhausting, but if you only have one class, why not spend all week reading each individual essay with a fine tooth comb while drinking piña coladas at the beach? If they’ve got 4 on Mondays, 6 on Thursdays, and 36 on Fridays, then you’re in luck. They’ll probably just pass your entire class for being able to find the attendance sheet.
4.) The Professor Doesn’t Allow Coffee:
If a professor isn’t understanding of the fact that we’re all up at the crack of noon and tired, then it’s a sign that they are an alien life form, a giant tarantula in human form, or just soulless. Coffee is the only thing getting most of us through the day alive, and any professor who wishes upon you a caffeine-less death is one you want to avoid.
3.) The Attendance Policy is More Rigid Than Your Binder:
The greatest thing about college is no one nags you about washing your clothes or cleaning your room and nobody demands that you wake up at six o’clock in the morning for class. A professor with a strict attendance policy is not just making it inconvenient to sleep in, they’re taking away your rights! YOUR FREEDOM! We, as a student body, will no longer stand for this injustice! Together, we will revolt!
2.) The Lectures Are Similar to a Middle School Public Speaking Contest:
Most people love hearing the sound of their own voice, and most professors don’t know how to stop talking. The issues arise when the professor has chosen one note and has made it their life mission to never move off of that tone. While we love monotone speaking as much as the rest, we expect my lectures to contain a bit more pizzazz. It’s not too much to ask for a disco ball and a tap dance, so step it up DePaul professors! We’re millennials! We have, yano, short attention spans or somethi-
5.) If You Match with the Professor:
Now, wearing the same outfit as your professor is just concerning. Drop this class like a hot potato and make your way to the nearest mall to buy an entirely new wardrobe. After doing so, make sure to burn all of your old clothes and scatter the ashes along Lake Michigan.
Dropping a class may seem daunting, it is never easy to tell a professor that you are leaving them. Do it in person, over a moderately nice dinner and a heartfelt explanation. In the end, you just have to remind them that it’s you, and not them.