The spring semester is coming to an end, and with it comes the final stretch for students to leave an impact on their professors. Making sure your professors recognize your face is crucially important for anyone hoping to get future letters of recommendation or just to feel cool when walking around the Cathedral and saying hi to professors.
Here are five particularly impressive ways for student to make sure their professor never forgets them.
Tip 1: Write a handwritten love note and turn it into your professor as you hand in the final.
Professors are people too. Sometimes these tyrants of the grading scale need some compassion sent their way. After a semester of repeating student emails and department heads up their asses, professors deserve a reward. You could be the face that hands them some beautiful flowers. Sure, maybe your professor has an allergic reaction to daffodils. Maybe you found that out by bribing the department secretary. Maybe the allergic reaction was payback for the stress they cause you this past semester. Either way, the professor will never forget your name.
Tip 2: fill in your Scantron bubbles in a fun and creative way.
Professors love when you tap into your creative side during class. One way to make sure they always remember you is to fill in your Scantron bubbles in different pictures. You could go simple and do a panther head or Cathy to express your love of Pitt, or you could go difficult and bubble in a picture of your professor fighting off a horde of Oakland cockroaches in Towers Lobby. Either picture would be memorable, but you know which one your professor would actually like to see.
Tip 3: Film yourself doing an interpretive dance set to yourself reading of your philosophy book for your final paper.
Like all great students, the trick to getting the best grade is going above and beyond the call to learning. Philosophy essays are all about expressing your understanding of the content. How better to express that then to physically show it. Turning in a video of yourself dancing will show your complete understanding of the content, and your professor will be in such awe there is no way they could forget you… especially if you’re wearing one of these.
Tip 4: Build a life-sized transforming model of Optimus Prime with the free coffee cups from the Hillman trashcans.
How better to leave an impression on a mechanical engineering professor than to fulfill their wet dream of owning a transformer? Sure they might still fail you for not conforming to their rigid grading system, but nothing wondrous was built without taking a few risks.
Tip 5: Ride an Oakland squirrel into the classroom to turn in your final paper.
Go to Benedum. Build a saddle to the dimensions of a beefy horse. Go to Chevron. Obtain 2 to 3 vats of toxic waste. Travel to Schenley Park. Wait. Catch a squirrel. Place in the toxic waste for 1 hour. Remove from toxic waste. Watch as it grows to the size of a beefy horse. Place saddle on back. Mount. Gallop to Chevron. Break through door. Place the take home test in the professor’s hand. Have the squirrel high-five him. Exit room while screaming, “FREEDOM!” And finally, check out Overheard at Pitt and see the pictures of you, your squirrel, and your professor.