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6 Signs You Need to Drop Your Class (Like, Right Now)

It’s the first week back at school and in your hungover Welcome Week daze you’re not exactly sure if you’re feeling your new classes. Sure, it could be the headache, but something tells you there’s  one class that really isn’t sitting right with your schedule. Need validation for switching to something different? We’ve got you covered! Here are six sure signs you need to drop that class, pronto.   

 

There aren’t any attractive people: Part of the fun of going to class is viewing the eye candy instead of the pointless PowerPoint that you can just download later from D2L, right? However, if everyone looks like they belong in U of M’s math department, then it might be best for you to seek other options for that time slot. How else are you going to be motivated to get those notes you missed if everyone sucks at being sexy?

 

There are too many attractive people: There needs to be a balance of the hot and the not-so-hot variety of students in your class; options are important! But when the equilibrium is thrown off and you’re in a class full of Conrad’s workers (how ya doin?), then you won’t get shit done, friend. We predict you scoring very low on all exams, which will lead you to being forced to drop out because your GPA is then destroyed. This will lead you to having to start cooking and selling meth, which will then later lead to your arrest and incarceration. Do you want that? No? Then drop that class A$AP.   

 

You’re the most attractive: While this is unlikely, if you end up being the best-looking in your class, then you’ll be the one who is  sought after for all notes and study group invites (aka you’ll actually feel obligated to work). This new sense of hotness will also go to your head and lead you to hit on people extraordinarily out of your league. In turn, this will kill all your confidence and make you resent that class. Then, you’ll never go and you’ll fail the class. Then you’re back to the meth. Just get out while you can; you still have Tinder for that confidence boost, right?  

 

Your professor speaks English as a 13th language (and it’s a math class): Math should be filed under a foreign language, we all know this; so why the heck would they have someone who can barely speak English try and teach it? Run, friends; run for the fuckin’ hills.   

 

The syllabus rivals the length and ambiguity of a Panic! At the Disco song title: Due dates will be vague, assignment parameters will be impossible to dissect, and your professor is related to Edgar Allen Poe, so all conversations will be spoken cryptically. Like any good, old Panic! song—in which the song title NEVER HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE SONG ITSELF—every exam you’ll take in this class will be absent of anything the syllabus “prepares” you for. Make like a raven and fly outta there (lol, Poe jokes). 

 

It’s in Comm Arts at 8a.m, and there’s a strict attendance policy: Unless you’re one of those freaky morning people, nobody has time for that shit. 8a.m.’s already suck; why make your life a million times harder and attend one all the way in BFE, and one you can never skip? Chances are your professor is actually Satan for enforcing such cruelty, so it might be best to dip out.

 

Well, there you have it. Six solid reasons for why you should drop that class. Now rush to Schedule Builder and GTFO of this lovable bunch of academic losers. There’s plenty of cinch classes out there, and we hear there’s plenty of openings in Horse Behavior and Welfare. Giddyup!

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