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A Daredevil’s Review of UD Campus Monuments

We here at The Black Sheep like to explore all the possible activities students can engage in on campus. So we’ve teamed up with Dane Jerris, a self-proclaimed daredevil and sophomore mechanical engineering major with nothing better to do, to take a look at some of the most iconic spots on campus to see how suitable they are for activities such as climbing and parkour.

 

The Book Statue at Mentor’s Circle

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With no practical uses other than being a beacon of financial frivolity, many students have taken to climbing the monument while visiting campus or even in between finals week nervous breakdowns. What makes climbing this monument worth it is the brief fleeting seconds of euphoria you get while you slide down it. Ladies, sound familiar?

 

Our friend Dane gives it a 3 out of 5 on the radical scale.

 

The Kissing Arches

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If you can ignore the couple viciously making out and possibly having sex under the left arch, the kissing arches are actually a really wicked place to get an adrenalin high once you scale it. Getting up there is the tricky part. You can do one of three things; scale its walls, go home and grab a ladder, or summon the closest available griffin to carry you to the top.

 

Dane rates the kissing arches a 5 out of 5.

 

The Small Wall next to Morris Library

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Possibly one of the most overlooked structures on campus, this wall isn’t very impressive in size. It is also just as unimpressive to climb. Once at the peak, you get a strong feeling of disappointment — one only comparable to how parents feel when semester grades are released.

 

Dane climbed the wall a single step and felt absolutely no sense of impending doom so he only gave the wall a 2 out of 5.

 

The Fountain Behind Smith

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Just for the record, the fountain is officially called The Fountain at the Accolades. The fountain is just as unpredictable and unpleasant as the weather on campus. You just never know when it’s going to be filled with water or be empty with the questionable white residue that Delaware water often leaves.

 

Dane gave the fountain a 1 out of 5 for being incredibly disappointing.

 

The Unsettling Blue Hen Statue

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We’re not exactly sure if this statue has a name, but like many students we’re also too terrified by it to actually ask. The statue is both structurally sound and great for climbing, but once you get to the top there’s not much to do. Once again ladies, sound familiar?

 

Dane liked the climb but he was very scared of the statue so he rated it a 3 out of 5.

 

So if you’re on campus, bored out of your mind, and feeling like engaging in some reckless and perhaps illegal behavior, strap on your helmet and straddle one of these bad boys. Just know that we are not responsible for any injuries you sustain.

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