There’s nothing more convenient than having your car on campus. Unless you live in North and you have to park in Brody. Or if you live in South, and you have to risk getting run over by a train to get to your car. Or if you live in East and you have to park all the way in in BFE… Wait, is there really any advantage to having a car on campus? Regardless, if you drive on Michigan State’s campus, you’re surely familiar with these hand signals.
The “Flight Attendant”:
This two finger wave is the classy way of saying “You’re about to jay-walk, I see you, and I know you’re not trying to stop any time soon. Instead of being a dick, I’m gonna be civil and let you walk, bitch.”
The “WHAT ARE YOU DOING””:
This is mostly seen around the intersection in front of Sparty, notorious for the standstill traffic as people try to avoid hitting dumbass pedestrians, speeding bikers, and other cars inching to get through. The Kalamazoo-Chestnut-Red Cedar stand off can only be broken by throwing your hands in the air and waving them like you just don’t care.
The “I’m Already Late”:
East Lansing traffic can be a bitch. But there comes a point when you just have to stop trying and accept your fate. This signal shows that you have given up your hope on making it to Vet Med on time and you will let them cut in front of you.
The “You Took the Last Spot at Lot 39”:
Lot 39 is a hot commodity; it’s the only spot to park around Wells, Anthony, and Engineering. Imagine you’ve got ten minutes until class starts, and you can see the last spot in the lot. Right before you can pull into it, some little asshole hybrid takes the spot. This is the look you give them.
Driving on campus is one hell of an adventure, and you need to know how to accurately communicate your feelings. Get it all out, trust us—it feels much better. Let your anger towards that Taurus fly free.