The Black Sheep took a look at the new crop of Panthers joining us this fall. What better way to peer into the inner-workings of this class than through the official Unofficial University of Pittsburgh Class of 2019 Facebook group? If you’ve been blocked from the page for promoting a certain racecar team, or have been too busy with your miserable summer job to scroll through the myriad posts, we’ve compiled a list of who you can expect to see wandering around campus this fall, looking extremely lost.
All those looking for their future kinsmen:
Whether they’re fishing for a Pitt Start friend, or hoping to find another double major in exotic sightseeing and underwater basket weaving, this page is full of students looking for someone to share the joys of their new campus with. These will be the freshmen that constantly hang out with their floor, and never really take time to discover campus by themselves until the end of senior year. On the bright side, they’re always up to grab food or go to Hillman… as long as they have someone to go with!
Bonus: They ask if anyone is going to a party at XYZ on Yik Yak once the semester starts.
The person who’s never even been on the Pitt website, or opened an email, ever:
This freshman is spotted easily by their posts asking for things like, “When do I schedule?” or “What are the meal plan options?” Don’t worry, these students aren’t dumb enough to confuse Facebook for Google, they all decided on WVU. You’ll be able to find them on campus asking how to swipe in Market and how they can load Panther Funds, Clueless, but harmless, we’ve all been there once or twice.
Bonus: They’ll start the semester by overflowing the laundry machines with bubbles, because they didn’t read the “how-to” their RA posted RIGHT ABOVE the machines.
Those who need an IT Guy:
This freshman is going to buy a new laptop for the start of the semester, but has zero idea what RAM is. They just want something that they can use for essays (read: Pintrest while procrastinating essays) and is easily portable. They are trusting crowd intelligence, and will probably end up with a cheap HP that cracks out the middle of the semester, and then will move on to a Macbook before sophomore year.
Bonus: They will ask for help fixing their broken laptop on this same page.
We don’t know who he is, but he seems hella interesting and relatable. Ten bucks says he’s in Swanson, because who else doesn’t have the attention span to finish a magazine? This is the freshman you run into once at a party who then convinces you to do a keg stand. You don’t know why, but he’s never ever annoying, just genuinely likeable. The perfect mix of random and cheerful, you’ll be wishing you had been closer friends with him, but really just end up say hi in Market, and say to your actual friends, “I LOVE that guy. I wish I saw him more!”
Bonus: He’s friends with this guy:
We don’t know what “purple elephants” are, and we don’t really want to (unless it’s made with vodka). These freshmen will be the cool friends who most likely will live on the same floor of Nordy (or maybe even Sutherland) and coordinate photos for every party they attend together. They’ll take up way too much space at Market, and everyone else will find them vaguely annoying but secretly lowkey envy them. It’s like watching Friends, only none of these people would ever be caught studying Paleontology like Ross.
Bonus: They’ll always be in the same spot of the ground floor of Hillman, doing more talking than actual studying.
Sorry to burst your bubble kid, but Pitt is notorious for not having a Syllabus week. You better enjoy O Week while it lasts.
Overall, the Class of 2019 seems pretty chill, and like they’ve had little to no Facebook drama. They either actually all get along… or it’s all on Twitter. Is that what the kids are doing these days? Remember, the incoming freshmen are all still basically high schoolers until Thanksgiving, but they’ll grow to be old and bitter like the rest of us soon enough.