Connect with us
Connect with us
Ole Miss Campus Map Freshman

Campus Life

An Open Letter To Ole Miss Students Regarding Giving Directions

Dear every person that has given me directions thus far,

 

I truly can’t tell you how appreciative I am of all the directions I’ve received… that have been completely not accurate. The first time it happened I figured the guy was just confused. The second time maybe the girl was also new here and just didn’t want to say so. That’s fine. Crippling social awkwardness is a trait I share as well, but it has since been made clear that this is some sick joke the entire campus is in on.

 

 Another phase of this infinite part plan that I can only assume is called, “Yeah, fuck that guy,” was that after following the directions of a seemingly kind upperclassman, I arrived 30 minutes late to my class in Lamar. My journey had begun 40 minutes earlier at the Uunion. Thank you. Now I have to weigh if Grammy’s impending funeral is more important than having absences to use for when I have a complete mental breakdown from being surrounded by this many awful, awful people.

  

Sure, I’ve found a lot of interesting places through this dickery. Like, that rad eating area between the library and Weir or Hugh Freeze’s not at all creepy lair/shrine to the Mannings located beneath the center most tree in the Grove. But the downside is I’ve attended a cumulative 40 minutes of class so far.

 

 So, when I ask you for directions, maybe just an apathetic shrug would be something you could toss at me instead of  a wild goose chase for the holy grail of eat a dick. 

 

Lost and Loathing,

      Marco Go-Fuck-Yourself

 

P.S. – To the person who thought it would be funny to send me into that weird building behind Lamar that constantly billows smoke when I asked where the nearest restroom was: I inhaled something in there and now everything smells like radishes. I hate radishes.

Continue Reading

More from Campus Life

Advertisement
Advertisement
To Top