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Anti-Presidents’ Ball Party: Highschool Makes a Comeback


High school may have been some of the best times for a select few, but we can all agree that the Homecoming Dance was totally lame at least one year. So lame, in fact, that you and your friends probably planned a whole teenage-angst anti-party. Even though this party had more to do with the fact that none of you could get dates/Suzy stole your dress/you couldn’t get drunk there, than actually not liking Homecoming, it was always a blast. When it comes to anti-parties at college, GVSU sure does have the answer. 


Similar to how high school went, a group of GVSU students got fancied-up and ready for the Presidents’ Ball only to blow up Twitter and Instagram with anti-pictures to prove how cool they are: “Yeah, my friends wanted me to go, but the Presidents’ Ball is so lame,” freshmen student Sally Mae stated. “I would only want to go for the booze, but I’m too young, so I might as well do it secretly at my dorm.” Sally Mae currently has an MIP — she was caught tweeting a GVSU page with a picture of her and a bottle of vodka — but she has stated on Facebook that that “doesn’t stop a class act.” Whatever that means.


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Sally and her roommate Julie decorated their apartment with Olympus decorations—grapevines, marble pillars, etc. They decided to splash paint across the walls to add what Sally called “atmosphere..” “Who cares about our security deposit?” Julie told The Black Sheep, “If we get to look cool and prove to everyone we’re having a better time than them, it’s totally worth it.”


Reports put the party’s headcount at about 25 people tops: “I mean I have a lot of friends but they’re lame and went to the Ball instead of my party,” said Sally, “I guess you can say I HAD friends.”


After listening to the party’s DJ spin some sick beats, the group broke out the “Netflix and Chill”. However, these youngsters had yet to understand the truth behind “Netflix and Chill” and simply would throw ice cubes down each others shirts sporadically throughout episodes of Parks and Rec while simultaneously passing around tubs of ice cream to share. At least, however, there was enough $3 Family Fare wine to drunken up the party.




Pictures on Instagram of the group in suggestive poses captioned #NetflixnChill got their followers riled up, which meant that the girls in the group got a ton of dick pics in their DMs: “Yeah so we got some dick pics and some ice cream at my party. Does the Presidents’ Ball have THAT?” Said Sally.


According to our sources, the Presidents’ Ball did not have “THAT.”


Sally and Julie’s anti-Presidents’ Ball party was considered over when GVPD arrived after being given an anonymous phone call and began giving out MIPs to those drunk and underage. As GVPD had already given Sally an MIP, she will have to be presented in front of the university board to discuss her possible suspension. 


“You know what though,” said Sally as GVPD put her in the back of one of their SUVs, “I can’t belieeeeeve someone called us in! It was probably Julie’s mom after we called her asking to buy us pizza…She’s such a nark….I had fun though.” 


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