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Booze Review: Chateau La Paws Pinot Noir

It says “fine wine” right on the bottle,  we can just stop this review and give it an A+, right? You know what else it says? “We proudly support no kill shelters.” That’s wonderful. Oh, dogs. The wine is about dogs. Our statement still applies. (The Black Sheep does not recommend feeding this wine to your dog, or any dog. Maybe your cat if she’s being a bitch per usual. The company doesn’t seem to have a stance on cats).


Grade: C+


Smells Like: “Expressive varietal character delivers Bing cherry, strawberry and blackberry briar aromas with long, heady accents of vanilla and caramel,” says the website. We think it smells like fermented grapes.


Tastes Like: Also fermented grapes, surprisingly. Which is unfortunate because we were looking forward to “Dark fruit leap[ing] off the entry, followed by coconut and crème caramel.”


Typical Drinkers: Dog-people and maybe dogs. Also, really poor The Black Sheep writers.


User Comments:

– “Woof.

– “Here boy!”

-“Who wants a good belly rub? Yes you do, yes you do!”


You’ll Like This if You Like: Dogs and cheap wine.


What Media Dog Does This Best Resemble?: Clifford, the Big Red Wine.


What Your Cat Would Say if it Saw You Drinking This: Meow.” (Translation: “Wow, I see you got a dog wine but not a cat wine? Asshole. I’m going to go spit up a fur ball on your pillow.”)


Common Food Pairing Suggestions: “Pair this approachable Pinot Noir with roasted pork loin, duck breast in cherry chutney or a simple BLT,” is what the website said, and we were able to afford all of that because we spend next to nothing on the wine.


We Mixed it with: Nothing because at least we’re not classless enough to mix wine with something. Kibbles are a possible option, though.


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