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Classes Cancelled: A Spring Break Miracle

If you’re anything like us, your reaction to Patrick D. Hogan’s email this morning was something akin to finding out you aced a midterm (and then seeing surprise puppies on The Lawn). Considering the amount of times this year that we’ve been the only university to stay open (three too many), imagine our surprise to receive literally the best email to ever be sent and to glance out the window and see only rain. Needless to say, we’re not complaining. Here’s a list of reasons we thought UVa would cancel class before today.


Hell Freezing Over:
But only if it takes the steam tunnels with it. That seems reasonable, nothing to melt the frozen sidewalks.


Coordinated Collapse of Every Parking Garage:
If there was enough snow to barricade the Central Grounds Parking Garage and refuse to let anyone get their cars in or out, the university might consider a delay. If every parking garage was out of commission, no class for anyone.


Frozen Pipes/Radiator Malfunction:
This becomes a health issue right? Bundle up kids, we have class in frozen classrooms with no hope of warmth or sunshine (sounds like New Cabell on the daily). On top of that, don’t even think about going to the bathroom.


Bodo’s is Closed:
If Bodo’s is closed, everything is closed. Solidarity, in this regard, cannot be ignored by the administration for the sake of our valued education. No learning without bagels.


A Black Sheep Article Actually Influenced the Administration:
We would never try to toot our own horn, but this is announcement is coming suspiciously soon after our bitching about not canceling class two weeks ago. You’re welcome, Wahoos.


Whatever the reason, we’re perfectly happy to begin spring break early and we’re sure you are too. Stay safe kids, don’t slip on the rain. 


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