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Delaware Professor Breaks Down In Front Of Class Due To Unexpected Amount of Student Participation

Wednesday morning, a Delaware history professor, Dr. Julian Halpert, began to sob in front of his class due to an overwhelmingly large amount of student participation. He later collapsed to the ground and could not stand back up. Paramedics were at the scene quickly and took the professor to the closest hospital in the area to be stabilized.


According to eyewitnesses, Dr. Halpert walked into class on Wednesday with a heavy pace and an apathetic appearance, with his poorly-washed suit and tie with New Balance sneakers. Without looking up from his feet, he shouted “Good afternoon, everyone” to the lecture hall. Not expecting anything in return, he began to state the announcements he had prepared for the beginning of the class. However, he was interrupted by roughly 15 students who said in unison “Good afternoon!” – a record-breaking number across campus.


Suddenly, Dr. Halpert broke down in front of the class right then and there. It started with a glimmer of hope passing through his eyes into his heart and suddenly he lost control of his legs. Dr. Halpert started sobbing right there on the disgusting brown-colored carpet in Kirkbride 205. “I just can’t remember when I felt that much love from a group of people – or any people, for that matter,” Dr. Halpert chimes in with his side of the story, “Suddenly, I just started crying and repeating ‘thank you’ over and over again. Next thing you know, I was in a hospital bed!”


Normally, Dr. Halpert’s crowd for his HIST206 class stays silent for the whole lecture and quietly taps away at their keyboards once the next slide shows. Halpert states that “normally, even when I ask a simple question like ‘Does anyone know the date today?’ no one will respond. No one. I’m so lonely.”


Students in the HIST206 class could see how much Dr. Halpert needed the attention, but did not expect to be sending him to the hospital. A student, Jeremy Dopler, has noticed a trend in Dr. Halpert from the beginning of the semester – going from cheerful to utterly miserable. “He used to walk into class with a huge smile on his face, excited to start the class. However, as most of us are intimidated by anything that isn’t like a keg of beer, the whole class would just not respond.”


Dopler goes on to say that Dr. Halpert progressively became less and less enthusiastic about not only his job but his life. “He’d start saying weird shit like ‘Good morning empty room with no one who cares about me’ or ‘if I wanted to sit around and talk to myself for 50 minutes, I’d go home and have dinner.’ It got pretty sad sometimes.”


Dr. Halpert will be returning to the university within a week. However, he is considering extending his stay being that “the nurses and people here actually pay attention to me when I talk about the American Revolution or anything, really.”

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