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Expectations vs. Reality: The Weekend before Finals

Here comes the final stretch. We always foresee it as a chance to enhance our grades. We promise ourselves we will make it count. We will wake up at the crack of dawn, set up camp in King, organize our notes, buy all of Shriver’s notecards, etc. But then the sun likes to rear its beaming face and expose the glorious deals at the bars uptown and the more than ideal dartying weather.


Friday Post-Class
Expectation: I am going directly back to my dorm and organizing my notes. The only thing up in the air is if I file them according to date, subject matter, chapter in the textbook, or alphabetical order.
Reality: My friends are hitting up Beat the Clock, therefore I shall abuse the clock as well.


Friday Post-Beat the Clock
Expectation: One mild error, I’m only human. In fact, it was good to get that out of my system. It’s all studying from here on out. I will go back to my dorm, drink some water, and proceed to organize the universe. It doesn’t take that much brainpower, plus I’ll be prepared to really crank away tomorrow.
Reality: Suzie challenged that I can’t rally. I will prove that I can rally harder than the Boston Tea Party. Plus, there’s an article online preaching how we need to cherish these years and nothing will replace quality time with friends in our youth. #YOLO


Post-Friday Frats/Bars
Expectation: Alright, I am well aware that I can’t be productive tonight, but I will flush out my excess alcohol intake and be fresh tomorrow. It’s practically a cleanse. I’ll be up at 7 a.m. sharp… well maybe 8.
Reality: Where’s the toilet? Or a trashcan? A sink? A PAIR OF HANDS?!


Saturday Morning
Expectation: Good morning world! I woke up before my alarm? Wow! I feel so well rested. Ah, cracking open this fine textbook with a cup of coffee and balanced breakfast is truly the way to start the day.
Reality: Who the hell set my alarm?


Saturday Late Afternoon
Expectation: By golly! I overslept! Well at least I’m plenty rested and ready to utilize King Library to engrave substantial amounts of knowledge into my brain. I am going to be a walking regurgitating textbook.
Reality: *still sleeping*


Saturday Evening
Expectation: It’s okay, I can work with this. I probably know more than I think from this semester. Actually I only have to learn half the information I originally accounted for. This is more efficient.
Reality: Better watch Netflix to get it out of my system. It’s an essential purge. Just one, short episode.


Saturday Late Evening
Expectation: Now that I have that out of my system, I can go thus forth cranking away and going henceforth into a world full of knowledge.
Reality: Yes Netflix, we’re continuing to the next episode, is that even a question?


Sunday Morning
Expectation: Well, can’t study in this pigsty, guess I’m forced to spend an extravagant amount of organizing this mess so I can actually get work done.
Reality: This is boring, I’m going to tan outside.


Sunday Afternoon/Evening
Expectation: Now that I’m nice and crispy burned, there’s nothing left to do but study. At least I have a glow, you know you perform better when you look better!
Reality: I’m fried and screwed.

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