So you’ve just scheduled classes for a brand new semester, and you’re pumped because you finally got into that English class you’ve been waiting on. You look to the far right side of the freshly printed schedule when suddenly (DUN DUN DUN): you realize the class will be in the basement of Allen Hall. You begin contemplating changing your major as the theme from Hitchcock’s Psycho blares in your head. Is the class really worth risking your life? Here are five reasons why Allen Hall is the scariest place on LSU’s campus.
5.) The bathroom doors are shady as shit:
Gotta make a pit stop and don’t have time to run upstairs before class? Better hold it. Not only do the doors in the basement bathrooms open and close themselves (gulp!), they’re rumored to have locked students in the stalls. So put your game-face on and hold it tight like Seabiscuit until your next class.
4.) The questionable elevator:
There’s a reason why students opt to take the staircase over the world’s tiniest elevator to get to the basement of Allen: a large, and quite unsettling, yellow caution sign draped over it reads “ELEVATOR AND FLOOR DON’T ALWAYS LINE UP.” You’re better off taking those creaking stairs, just in case you get sucked up into an eternal black hole that’s probably filled with formerly courageous students…or obnoxious Alabama fans who’ve mysteriously gone missing…
3.) The classrooms are reminiscent of dungeon cells:
Happen to have a ninety minute class in Allen instead of the preferred fifty? Sucks for you. The rooms are roughly the size of a jail cell with drab white, mental institution-colored walls. If you DO luck out and get a window or two in your classroom, they’re most likely barred with iron and steel. So as soon as the professor dismisses class, get your ass to the quad for some fresh air and sunlight.
2.) There’s some construction happening at the end of the hall right now. And it’s chilling:
Thankfully, your tuition is being put to good use as Allen is undergoing construction, and there’s a clear-ish white tarp acting as a curtain to caution students of debris. When you pass it, the silhouettes of the construction workers eerily resemble ghosts digging graves (probably for failing students). So be sure to bring an extra change of pants next time you go down there.
1.) You can’t hear Bell Tower from the basement. You can’t hear anything, really:
Bell Tower is loud enough to hear from most spots on campus, but the basement of Allen isn’t one of them. With sound barriers glued to the concrete walls, it’s morbidly impossible to hear anything going on outside of that damn basement. God forbid there be an emergency when you’d need to scream for help. On the bright side, if there’s a hurricane, the basement of Allen is probably the safest place to go in the state of Louisiana. Maybe Allen isn’t so creepy after all. So get over it, tiger!
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