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Five Steps to Celebrating Your Last Final at UK



We at The Black Sheep know how stressful finals can be for students. We spend our time planning every moment leading up to each final, including the seven minute naps every sixteen or so hours, but we don’t normally plan what we are going to do after finals end. The Black Sheep is here to give you a head start by planning out the five steps to celebrating your last final.


Step 1: Leave Your Final in White Hall


Step 1, 7.4, UKY


The first step to celebration is actually leaving your classroom. Hand your final in, punch your professor in the face (or imagine you did), and run out of White Hall. Flop into a pile of leaves and take in your newfound freedom.


Step 2: Run to Hibachi Express Since You Won’t Eat There Again for a Month


Step 2, 7.4, UKY


Nobody eats at places right next to campus over break, probably because nobody wants to even look at UK’s campus until January 12th. But before you leave, be sure to run over to Hibachi Express on Limestone, get yourself a steak and shrimp combo with crab rangoons, and destroy your body. Food is part of the healing process of recovering from a brutal finals week.


Step 3: Run to Big Cat Liquor to Get Shitfaced


Step 3 (1), 7.4, UKY


Big Cat Liquor over off of Virginia Avenue is a popular student choice, with its fair prices, its location, and the fact that the number 15 Lextran has a stop right outside for easy access. Step off the bus on your way home and grab a bottle of liquor to drink away the pain. Of course, you have to get some form of bourbon, because you’re in Kentucky, dammit! We don’t drink any of that sissy clear liquid here!


Step 4: Get Smashed and Write Rate My Professor Reviews


Step 4, 7.4, UKY


Once you have your fill of liquid courage, take your drunken rage to the internet. You don’t want your fellow students to suffer through the wrath of April French or your math professor who taught you more Chinese than calculus. You take to to write some boozy reviews. Though be warned, classes have yet to enter their final grades so make sure not to give any revealing details away or you may be facing a biased grade against your online critiques.

Step 5: Pass Out With Your ‘Wild’ Cats


Step 5, 7.4, UKY


Are you truly a Wildcats fan if you don’t even own any cats to be your in-home mascots? Nothing makes one feel better after taking a soul crushing final than restraining cats against their will for some serious cuddles. The sounds of their screams are easily ignored as you slip into a blazed-induced state of unconsciousness, trying to ignore the spinning of the room.


Finals can be rough, but with these steps, we at The Black Sheep hope we can give you a jump start to get celebrating, whether or not you were successful in studying. Because tis’ the season… to ignore how horrible you probably did on your final exams.


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