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Guide to Being a Basic U of A B!tch of the Fall Season

The fall season has finally arrived and white girls all around the world are giddy with joy and getting high from pumpkin-themed everything. The Ugg boots have been unpacked and placed in closets again after their retirement for the summer season, and the legging industry is booming. These things fall under the category of “basics” that every fall-loving girl, or boy, literally can’t handle. The Black Sheep has come up with a few ways for U of A students to be Basics.


Obviously pumpkin everything
Pumpkin Spice Lattes at Starbucks are extra basic now because the company brilliantly decided to begin making PSLs earlier than normal. That was good news for mostly everyone, but especially the Basics of America. So, how can you expand on your pumpkin eating this fall? Head to the Einstein Bagels on campus because they have pumpkin-flavored bagels AND pumpkin-flavored schmear. What more could a Basic want?


Leggings are all you need
During the fall season, do people really wear anything besides leggings? You’ve got your jeggings, fleece-lined leggings, patterned leggings and even some leggings for men! Leggings are the only things Basics will wear this fall, so why waste closet space with all of those other pants you definitely won’t wear? So, while you’re trading out your summer closet for your fall and winter closet, you might as well pack up all of those jeans and pants you have because let’s be honest, a Basic would never wear them.


Start Christmas early
The weather is slowly cooling down, which means Christmas is on its way. Get everyone in the spirit early by blasting Christmas carols out your windows in your dorm room. The sound of Michael Bublé’s hypnotizing voice and Mariah Carey’s glass-shattering tone will make the passerby walking to class feel something they’ve never felt this early into fall: simultaneous serenity and annoyance.


Rake leaves on Old Main lawn
You’ll be doing the on-campus maintenance crew a huge favor if you choose to rake up all those leaves on Old Main, and you might even start a new trend for Basics. Think of how many leaves will be falling off of all those huge trees and think how many piles of leaves you can jump into. Get a group together and take an action shot of all of you jumping at the same time, mid-jump. #nofilter.


Be a true resident of the Ozarks
Tribal-patterned sweaters, cardigans and leggings are a big thing during the fall season. But why stop there? The Cherokees once inhabited the land that us Hogs walk on today, so embrace the town’s roots and dress up in full Native American garb. The tribal sweaters and leggings will add a pop of color to headdresses and war-painted faces.


Say it with me: I’m a Basic Bitch and I’m PROUD. Go forth and be proud of your Basic Bitchness of fall, and don’t ever hold back. Follow along with what everyone else is doing, and don’t let anyone tell you you’re original, because why would you want to be that?

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