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Hoos Got You Packed

 

Spring Break is finally approaching. Stick in there, Hoos! You’re super-busy with midterms and stress eating and still finding time to turn up, so we figured we’d help out by saving you time and making your packing list for you. Here’s a list of every single thing you must pack to ensure a fun-filled, crazy time this Spring Break:

 

Bathing Suit:

Show off that super-hot hibernation-inspired body you’ve worked hard for this winter (yay for break in March!)

 

UVa Attire:

So you can connect with fellow Cavaliers on your trip, because who cares about other people? Besides, randomly shouting “WAHOOWA!” at random passing Hoos also sporting their UVa attire in airports, theme parks, and bathrooms never really gets old.

 

Fake ID:

Because what’s Spring Break without some illegal activity? Well, illegal if you’re not “UVA21.”

 

Makeup:

No one knows what you look like wherever you’re going, so it’s the perfect time to be someone new.

 

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Tequila:

Bring your own; that foreign stuff is risky (DON’T EAT THE WORM.) Show the locals that us Wahoos can stick to our guns and live up to our name!

 

Solo Cups:

So you can teach the little Haitian children that you’re “building a school for” how you play beer pong when you “go to school.”

 

Chacos:

Don’t you dare wear regular flip-flops. Old Navy 2-for-$5 is so high school. If you don’t know what Chacos are, or where to find them, just ask your local ~granola~ srat girl.

 

Shades with Vineyard Vines Croakies:

So everyone can know just how preppy UVa students really are.

 

Flash Tats:

Don’t bring your real bling because you’ll get drunk and lose everything. Besides, it’s all the rage in every UVa girl group’s “out on the town” pics. If you’re a guy, still bring flash tats. You’d be surprised how good gold and glitter look on muscles.

 

Phone Charger:

So you will always have a full battery to support your obsessive Snapchatting habits. How else will your Hoos know that you’ve been tanning in the same spot for 5 hours or bought a mixed drink in a cool big coconut at a swim-up bar?

 

The Black Sheep:

For the plane ride to your destination.

 

Toothbrush:

Hygiene never sleeps. Kinda like you when class is in session.

 

Daddy’s Cold Hard Plastic:

Because why would you be expected to pay for this trip when they’re already paying for your UVa education?

 

Coconut Water:

Since the real coconut water from actual beach coconuts tastes like shit. If you’re not going to a tropical destination, you might need to pack the coconut too.

 

Bean Boots:

Just in case you encounter someone who doesn’t know what they are and need to show them. We hear they’re great as water shoes, too.

 

Condoms/Birth Control:

Double the partying, double the protection.

 

You’ll need absolutely nothing else for your trip, promise. “Clothes?” No. Spring Break would not be the same if people walked around clothed. And anyways, your parents won’t care if you just splurge on an entire new wardrobe when you get there. YOLO. Go hard or go home. Be safe out there, but not too safe ya wet blankets. Happy travels!

 

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