Oxford, MS is the last place on Earth that would be considered scary. Walking on campus there are angels everywhere you turn your head, and the campus itself is almost as beautiful. No ghosts, ghouls, and goblins to fear in the Grove. However, Halloween is approaching and it’s that special time of year when people want something to scare and shock them, as long as it isn’t on the football field. So, rather than shucking out the $30+ bucks to visit a real haunted house this Halloween, The Black Sheep has devised the ultimate lair of scares fit to make even the most die-hard Rebel fan faint in terror. Each room features a scare as frightening as the last. Step inside… if you dare…
A Dismally Dry Bar – As soon as you enter the Halloween House, you start walking down a dark spooky hallway, at the end you can see a nicely dressed bartender. You ask him for a drink, but he says all that they’re serving tonight is water and Kool-Aid (cue the evil laughter). If that doesn’t already have you shaking, just wait…
Monstrous Montage of Ole Miss Disappointments – Continuing down the hallway…painfully sober, doors suddenly slam closed behind you before frightening figures dressed as skeletons grab you and force you to watch a collage of games lost by the Rebels. Bordering on psychological torture, every dropped pass or missed field goal will have you crying (both from sheer terror and crippling shame).
The Creepy Clanga-ing – Mentally exhausted from the footage, you have to rest, but your reprieve doesn’t last long as you soon begin to hear… it. Slowly, but surely, the maddening metallic cowbell is coming closer and closer AND CLOSER. It’s a deafening clanging cacophony and you run frantically through a twisting, endless maze trying to escape that goddamned, god forsaken noise.
The Terrible Tiger – The noise has subsided, but you start to smell something. It’s the smell of pure deep-fried terror… corndogs. You quickly turn around, only to be faced with a giant purple and gold beast hauling ass towards you! You contemplate fighting it, but you decide to escape through a nearby door.
Highway From Hell – Going through the door, you realize the hallway is getting smaller, so small that you’re forced to crawl. You navigate the obstacles until you suddenly feel like you’re sitting in some kind of metal cage. Bright lights flash on and you realize you’re trapped in a car sitting in a traffic jam of terror on Jackson Avenue. In a final, desperate attempt to preserve what’s left of your sanity you try turning on the radio, but no matter the station all you hear is the fuzzy torment of static!
Think you could make it through The Black Sheep’s Hotty Toddy Halloween House of Horrors? No? We didn’t think so…
Rebels beware of all things that go bump in the night and scare (especially that Memphis game…).