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How Pitt’s Schools Do Netflix and Chill

Netflix and Chill: We all know what it is, most of us have participated in it, but what goes down during the deed can vary greatly. What most people don’t know is that your major or program plays a big part into this. The Black Sheep did some in depth research to find out about these differences and to document them for your general curiosity/enjoyment.

 

Art and Sciences

Since most folks end up in a program under this umbrella school, there are actually subcategories of how the chill goes down. Art-type majors will most likely pick a Wes Anderson film, brew some chai (whatever that is), and wait for the sparks to fly. Science-type majors will throw on Star Wars or Dr. Who, brew some coffee, and probably just end up studying instead.

 

Business

Ugh, these guys are all the same. The gentleman will invite the lady over to his dorm room, which is decorated with posters of Breaking Bad, Bob Marley, and John Belushi from Animal House. The Wolf of Wall Street is always the movie of choice because it’s long, full of drugs and nudity, and actually kind of boring. Boring enough to make a move. Just don’t try to recreate any of the sex scenes from the movie.

 

Education

Yinz best be ready to learn because if a future teacher invites you over you’re gonna get schooled. After watching a documentary for an hour or so, you will be given a lesson in the ways of love that would make the Kama Sutra blush. No wonder there are so many pornos centered around teacher/student relationships.

 

Engineering

It’s general knowledge that these young scholars like to build things. You’ll watch a few episodes of How It’s Made and then the engineer in question will offer to show you something they “just built.” Without a doubt this will be some sort of apparatus that is conducive to sexual activity. Who knew a sex swing could fit in a Forbes Hall dorm room?

 

General Studies

Much like their major, these folks are a little bland. You’ll end up watching “whatever,” until one of you gains the courage to make a move. The sex will be average and most likely in the missionary position.

 

Honors

You know how in movies there are always the nerds who somehow are champions of sexual intercourse? These are not those nerds. They will invite you over to Netflix and Chill and you will actually end up just watching Netflix and chilling. If that sounds bad, the reality is much worse. They will be studying the whole time and you’ll be quizzed at the end.

 

Information Sciences

You know those nerds we mentioned earlier who are secretly sexual fiends? These are those type of nerds. IS majors know just how to utilize whatever hardware or software they are given. Yes that was a euphemism. As long as you can suffer through half a season of Star Trek: The Next Generation you will be rewarded with a mind-shattering experience.

 

Law

There will be no objections if you Netflix and Chill with a lawyer. As a grad student, they most likely have a cushy apartment in Shady Side for you to chill at. They’ll put on My Cousin Vinny or A Few Good Men, pour you a glass of wine, and before you know it you two will be quid quo pro-ing each other’s pro bono. Let the record reflect that we have no clue what those words actually mean.

 

Nursing

A sexy nurse costume will make an appearance. Need we say more?

 

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