As Pitt students trudge through the mud and muck around the Bigelow Boulevard crosswalk, unheeding of traffic, there is one select group of students ready to conquer the world’s problems: the OCC Honorary Society. This group of razor sharp intellects have completed all the required activities outlined on the OCC website. But how does one get to be a part of this Seal Team Six-level special operations unit? The OCC program can sometimes be confusing to mostly communications majors out there, but for those who wish to clutch the green scarf of ambiguous benefits, a few creative and fun activities have been outlined here.
I. Wearing clothes that may/may not have been washed in over a week
Laundry at Pitt is tough. Most campus laundromats are models of inefficiency and lost socks. An art history major was reported in a laundromat finishing a load of colors at 11 p.m. Why? He had waited for a dryer to open up after use by another Panther for three hours. Avoid this and get credit in the process! Those stinky gym t-shirts could give you the OCC experience YOU need!
II. Raising your hand and telling a joke in a lecture hall of 500 people
This may seem intimidating, but it may get you the most OCC and real respect life can offer. This OCC goal is easiest to accomplish if performed as early in the morning as possible. Start with 8 a.m. courses — that audience should be most receptive to your material. It is also a great way to break the ice and set off a question you may have for the professor. After the roars of thunderous laughter have died down from your joke, questions like, “Will this be on the test?” or, “So what do I need to do for an A in this class?” and, “Where is the bathroom?” are completely acceptable. Some suggested jokes are listed below:
Jeez, I bombed that last chem test, the only compound I knew was OHNO3.
Pitt’s football team would make terrible detectives. They’re always blowing leads.
What’s the deal with Market food, eh?
III. Telling everyone about a party you would describe as “A sick rager, bro”
Why should these nights of glory go unnoticed? People deserve to hear about that time you lost a tooth, or that copacetic kegstand you did, right? Well now you can get OCC credit for it. Anything from your first beer to losing your virginity is game to tell anyone about on the following list of potential OCC informants: academic advisors, seniors at Pitt, any engineering student, a professor, a cashier at the Pitt shop, your mom, your grandmother, Chancellor Gallagher, a lonely looking tutor at the Academic Resources Center, an even lonelier looking tutor at the Math Assistance Center, your roommate’s girl, a Pathfinder, and many others.
These are just a few ideas to get you started. Notice, these noble and glorious deeds are not listed on the OCC website, precisely because they are meant to be kept a secret. Basically, you’ll be so cool in accomplishing these feats that literally the only honor they can give you at graduation is an OCC tassel.