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Last Call: Senior Spring Semester at VT

As you probably know, the timetable of classes for Spring 2015 is now up. If you’re a senior, we totally understand if you’re avoiding it at all costs in hopes that if you don’t plan your last semester, it won’t actually be your last semester. Choosing classes for the last time might be relieving for some, but for those of us that refuse to even talk about the g-word, it causes the kind of fear and depression that makes you want to drown yourself in rails at TOTS for the next seven months. Luckily, there are some classes that might go well with your semester long binge of beer, Benny’s stix, and denial. These are the perfect classes to end your college career with:


AFST: 4354 Issues in Africana Studies: Beyoncé There is actually a class on Queen B. Topics discussed will likely include how to perfect the single ladies dance and how to wake up like this. We’re hoping Blue Ivy will be a guest lecturer, even if she doesn’t know how to speak yet. This class will be a #flawless fit into your senior schedule.


GEOG 2984: Geography of Wine
Since you’re going to be drinking excessive amounts of wine anyway, you might as well get some credit for it. Maybe this class will help you transition from a Tour de Franzia playing college student to a classy adult, but probably not. 


HORT 3114: Wines and Vines
The fact the Virginia Tech has not one, but two, classes on wine is enough to make us never want to leave. We don’t know what the differences in the classes are, and we also really don’t care.


FST 3134: Applied Malting and Brewing
Having variety in your schedule is good, so a class on beer would be good addition to your wine-o schedule. If the tests include shot gunning beers in under 20 seconds and continually making the last cup in pong, we might actually make the Dean’s List this semester. 


EDHL 3534: Drug Education
Take a walk down memory lane and reminisce about your past four years as you learn about the negative effects of drugs and alcohol. All these studies about how much damage you’ve done to your brain might help you understand why you won’t find a job after graduation.


Having to schedule your last semester at college is dreadful, but at least VT has some classes that will fit nicely into all the daily bar crawls you’ll be having downtown. The only right way to end your time at Virginia Tech is with a bang (and a lot of beer).

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