Letter to Professor from that One Kid who Skipped Every Class
Yoooooo (as a heads up, that’s a greeting that young people use). So I see that we have an exam coming up that is worth 40% of our grade. Yeah, well you see, I’ve had this wicked cold thing going on and I haven’t been able to make it to class since like, the first day. Trust me I really wanted to be there and learn about European history and stuff, but I didn’t want to infect the rest of the class, I’m sure you understand.
Basically I just wanted to write you a letter to tell you my side of the story because rumors spread like wild fire here, ya know? People have probably told you that I didn’t come because I don’t care about my education, or that I always had a hangover and couldn’t get out of bed. That could be the farthest thing from the truth man! I just hand these stomach bugs on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings. It was so weird.
So, back to the exam worth 40%…I’m not okay with that. I mean, like, I missed a lot—not by my own choice, of course—so I’d really appreciate it if you’d go easy on me. Like could I get a special exam maybe? An open note exam? Or a take home exam? I won’t tell anyone that you pulled a few strings to help a fellow Badger out — it will be our little secret.
You’re probably asking yourself, why should I treat this student different than all the rest? I’ll tell you why: It is because we have a bond. The first day of class, I could tell we believed in a lot of the same things. I could tell we both believed in the humane act of letting students out of class early the first day of class and that syllabus week is highly important because many students miss the fine print on the syllabi, so it’s very important to go over ever single word. These things are highly important in a students learning process, many studies have proven it you know, and it’s like common sense.
I can really see us being friends in the future too. I would love to have intelligent conversations about European history with you. We could talk about like when the Alamo fell, and how that had a huge impact on Germany in the ’80s because it is super important for people to get the correct information (that’s how this all went down, right?) We could grab coffee or lunch sometime soon if you’d like. Just let me know when you’re free. I can see this really going friendship going somewhere, ya know? Man, I’m just so pumped to hangout with you. We could also hit up the KK for FAC if you’d like. Want to plan to meet there after your lecture around 11 a.m.? That could be dope. The professor and I chillin’…got to love it man.
Well, let me know what you think. Hit me up and keep in mind that I totally wanted to be in your class, I just was feeling under the weather all semester. I was so mad I had to miss all your exciting lectures.
Thanks for your time dude.
Your freshest student
P.S What’s the late policy for papers 1, 2 and 3?