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List of Inventions from Engineering Open House

The “Engineering Open House,” or EOH, takes place the weekend of the 7th and 8th after Unofficial, forcing engineers to recover from debauchery quicker than other students. Prizes are awarded to the best exhibits so students pull out all the stops in order to wow the judges. The Black Sheep presents an inside look at some of the projects and inventions that will be showcased this year.


iClicker Turned Into Lightsaber:
The infamous iClicker is getting an upgrade now thanks to a student using the parts to create a functional Star Wars lightsaber. The lightsaber looks like a normal iClicker until the power button is turned on, at which point a laser extends from the top.


The student responsible said he expects some resistance from the Physics Department professors who invented the iClicker, because the only version that team was able to create has a red laser. “Well, mine’s actually plasma,” said Star Wars lover Ralph Holstein, rolling his eyes. “And red is the color of the Sith. I’m working on blue and green versions right now.” Holstein was pressured into making a purple version by the Society of Black Engineers as well.


The other problem might be that, because the lightsaber looks identical to a normal iClicker, you can’t tell which one’s which until you power on, risking possible loss of limb or participation points in lecture.


Alcohol-Fueled CUMTD Buses:
While Champaign’s bus service is already making the attempt to go “green” with hybrid buses, the “Society for Engineers That Are Also In Greenpeace (SFETAAIGP) showcased a new method for fueling public transportation using grain alcohol. The students claim that the low prices of alcohol on campus compared to gas will make alcohol as a fuel more profitable than any other method.


Incidents of pedestrian collision are expected to increase in result, but only until the problem of vaporized alcohol fumes filling the bus cabin is fixed. A possible solution may be to collect the vaporized alcohol fumes in a container and sell it to students, according to president and Greenpea –er, onlooker Kelly Newcomb.


Bullshit Detector:
What looks like a Geiger counter to measure radiation has been altered to detect corruption in politics, as well as literal bullshit. One of the judges, a member of the Illinois Student Senate, was made visibly uncomfortable by the device when it started beeping near him.


The creators from the Society of Engineers for Social Reformation say the invention was originally created to differentiate horse shit and bull shit, for scientific reasons. The students soon realized that the device also detected figurative bullshit and people suffering from severe intestinal problems.


iClicker Turned Into Phaser
Straight out of Star Trek, another student had a similar idea to use the iClicker to create a laser weapon that he calls a “phaser.” The competition is fierce between the inventor, Matt Dupont, and the inventor of the iClicker lightsaber. Both students claim their weapon to be the best, although one of them does so in Klingon. Dupont claims that his phaser is a social commentary that unifies the nerd culture while the iClicker lightsaber prequels “totally sucked.”


The university has yet to make a comment on whether either device will be allowed on campus, despite the Bullshit Detector being banned immediately.

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