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Love at First Swipe: A Poem

Insta’s for sorostitutes

Snapchat’s for your friends

Different apps for different groups

But this one breaks the trend

 

If you’re looking to get laid

To message sexy strangers

To meet hot people of your age

Online and out of danger

 

If you like idiotic jokes

And constant aggravation

Fuckboys, douchebags, dumbass folks

That smack of desperation

 

“—Hey girl lemme see that butt”

“—You got really pretty eyes”

“—Are you a virgin or a slut?”

“—I’m not like most guys”

 

If you’re into pretty women

Inviting you into their places

Only to be welcomed in

By horrendous butter-faces

 

If you like having hookups

Late night booty calls too

Who run into you on campus

Then pretend not to know you

 

If you like swiping left and right

Judging people by their faces

Convos in the dead of night

Meeting in strange places

 

If you’re not here for a soul mate

Let me tell you, you’re in luck

No one on this app wants you

For reasons other than to fuck

 

So if you’re in it for the parties

The strangers and the fun

Have at it and go wild,

It’s not for everyone

 

If you want a friend with benefits

And a side chick or two

Dear reader you’re in the right spot

Tinder is the app for you!

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