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Naïve UW Freshman Confused by Netflix and Chill


“It’s soo bizarre… guys keep inviting me over for what they’re calling ‘Netflix and Chill’ but half the time I’m like where’s your TV?”—Shelly Terdé


This past weekend was one of the last big party weekends before finals for UW-Madison students. The Black Sheep took to Langdon and caught up with the notorious Shelly Terdé, freshman, who claims she’s watched every episode of Friends just this semester, despite not having a Netflix account. Frankly, we’re amazed, not because she is in college and has work to do—c’mon, we all know freshmen year doesn’t count anyway—but because she actually doesn’t even own a television.


TBS: So Shelly, how’s college going?


Shelly: It’s been, like, superfun so far. Everyone is, like, so nice. People are constantly inviting me to parties on Langdon and Breese, much like the one we’re at now, and, get this, they invite me just to hangout. Oh, and I love my floor, too! We all go to parties together, and eat crack fries, and the guys are always chillin’ in the den on Friday nights saying their rooms are “occupied”. Not really sure what they’re talking about, but we usually play Donkey Kong in the den, so no complaints here. Witte 10A for lyfe!! (Throws up the W).


TBS: Yeeeah, so you really don’t know what “occupied” means?


Shelly: I assume they’re cramming for a Monday test?


TBS: Exactly. Anyway, much like the local news would be, we’re really interested in how you’ve managed to watch the entirety of Friends this semester without owning a TV?


Shelly: And every rom com on Netflix. Don’t forget the rom coms. I’ll have to wait for January now to see if they put any new stuff up.


TBS: Yes, but how did you manage to watch all of this without an account or a television? On your laptop?


Shelly: I literally just told you, people are constantly asking me to hangout and watch Netflix and stuff. I just meet people that are really into TV; I guess they must all be like Comm Arts majors or something. I’m actually getting a little bored of Netflix now. I wish guys would start asking me to do fun things, like go to a concert at the Orpheum, or tell me to meet him at the top of the Capitol at a certain time, but on my way up State I’ll keep getting stopped by window washers and angry protesters, making me late by the time I climb up all those steps. But even though I’m late, he’s still there. He waited for me because, as he whispers in my ear, “you’re worth waiting for.”


TBS: Wow, you really have seen all of the rom-coms, haven’t you? And guys honestly invite you over to just watch TV, no hidden agenda? Other intentions?


Shelly: What do you mean? Do you think they’re, like, spies or something?!? OMG, what if they want me to be an informant, the inside man?


TBS: I think they’re trying to be the inside man!


Shelly: What?


TBS: Never mind, not important. What we really want to know is how does a typical weekend go for you?


Shelly: Well, I get invited to apartment’s alllll over campus, but I don’t like walking that much so I tend to only stay around Langdon. Typically, they just invite me over to watch some Netflix, but then they usually get tired and ask if I need to stay over because it’s dark, or if I want to go to their room as to not bother their housemates. I would never want to impose though, so I usually just take the 80 back. What is weird, though, is when they don’t even have a TV. I’m like ‘don’t you know how Netflix works? You need a TV, silly!’ Boy, do they get uncomfortable real fast. I tell them they look a little red, and they always say, ‘more like blue’… I don’t think they know their colors very well.


TBS: Well, Shelly that sounds like quite the night, and you get free TV out of it, so sweet deal. We hope you find a guy to spin you around on a dock in the rain real soon!


Shelly: Cool, thanks! Where’s my $20?


TBS: Hey look, it’s Nigel Hayes!


Shelly: Where?! 


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