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Open Letter to the ‘Frustrated Guy Just Looking for Advice’

Dear “Frustrated Guy Looking For Some Advice,”


To summarize, you wrote a letter complaining about how you are tired of being rejected. You emphasize the fact that the women who are rejecting you are the problem, and that they suck. Yeah, women who have standards are the worst. How awful that women have the mental capacity to be able to decide what kind of guy they want to be with instead of ignorantly falling for self-entitled chauvinists such as yourself. Women can say no? Women have that right? How fucked up.


Let’s discuss a few of the most eloquent quotes from your letter:


“Surprisingly, NOT EVERY GUY IS A DOUCHE. Should I repeat that? Nah…I’m good. You get my point.”


This is the only time you say anything accurate in your letter. For the record, women know that not every guy is a douche. Accurate.


But, after reading your letter in its entirety, you make the point that while not all guys are douches, all girls are attention whores. Wow, your respectful attitude towards women is so attractive and desirable.


You want to bring up guys being “douchebags”? You want to bring up the word “douche” and what makes a guy “douchey”? Fine. Let’s talk about it.


You do understand that the way in which you worded your point about not all guys being douches was in a really douchetastic way, right? You are fully aware that your entire letter screams “I AM AN UNDATEABLE AND UNFUCKABLE DOUCHEBAG,” yes? You know that while not every guy is a douche, YOU are currently captain of the douche submarine due to your letter in its entirety, right? 


Wait. Shit. My bad. Totally forgot that you’re perfect and not the problem at all… wait JOKES you’re actually a douche for thinking that. But “nah, you get my point,” I say like a douche captain. 


“Girls should like that I’m not shy. Girls are supposed to like confident guys, right? I guess girls just don’t see in me what I see in myself. They probably see me as a ‘creep’.”


DING DING DING you figured out your problem: You are a creep. The fact that you say “hot girls,” and I quote “get what they ask for,” translates directly into being creepy. 


It’s also obvious that you have mixed up the definitions of confidence and misogyny. You see yourself as merely being self-assured, but really, you are merely self-righteous and have an ingrained prejudice against women. As you said, you feel that women are the problem because they reject you when you come as “sweet and charming.” We hate to break your conniving little heart, but if that’s your perspective, you’re the exact opposite of sweet and charming.


“Girls, do you think us guys are that dumb? You’re asking to get hit on, you’re asking to have a guy in your bed at the end of the night.” 


WHOAH. Now you’re victim shaming? Nope. Shut it down.


Women are “asking for it”? Again, with being a creep… case in point. You’re making this too easy for us. We challenge you to entertain the idea that women can and DO look good for themselves. Think of how exhausting it would be to seriously give a shit about what every man on the planet thinks of you.


Realize that women are not all alike, just as not all men are alike. Some girls like girls, some girls like guys, and some girls don’t like either. Some girls like casual sex, some girls like relationships. Some girls like musicians, some girls like businessmen, and some may even have the heart to love an asshole like yourself.


“To summarize, what I am trying to say is that I am tired of rejection.”


Ah, why didn’t you just say this from the start? Being tired of rejection clearly gives you the justification to openly bash females in a passive aggressive, anonymous letter written to the masses. Your frustration gives you the right to blame an entire gender instead of taking a step back and reflecting on yourself. We’re sending a tsunami of sympathy your way. After all, you’re nothing more than a hypocritical narcissist who can’t get laid — cry me a fucking river.


“I clearly know that I am not doing something right, and it has to be my looks.” 


Yes, it’s all about your looks. That’s it. You are perfect in every single way except for your looks. Your skewed view of gender equality and upmost respect for women embodies perfection. Your personality is completely on point. Totally. 


You want advice? Here’s some advice: 


1. Remember that shallowness is a two way street.


2. Realize that women probably do not reject you due to feminism or thinking that all men are douches, but rather due to your shitty, entitled personality.


3. Work on not acting like a complete piece of shit (abandoning your misogynistic, narcissistic ways would probably be a good starting point).


Best of luck on finding a woman…You’re going to need it.




The Black Sheep Staff

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