While walking home from Chipotle last night, one of our writers found a tiny letter outside of the Union. The writing was barely legible, but we are hardworking in-depth reporters at The Black Sheep so we figured it out. The ending wasn’t what any of us were expecting:
This weekend was absolutely nuts! Not only did I see multiple people vomit into the trash cans outside of Towers (and a few just onto Towers patio), but this Sunday afternoon my nap was interrupted by a very incredible phenomenon… Sorority women. Chanting. Cheering. Screaming. In public.
At first I didn’t know what to make of it, being the humble individual I am. There were so many girls in face paint, holding large lawn signs and CHANTING. Dear god, the chanting. It was part amazing, part terrifying. But mostly terrifying.
I stealthily climbed the roof of the Union in order to get a better look. After sneaking along the drain pipe, I had a clear view of the festivities. There I heard faint shouts of “I just looooooove bid day!!!!!” And “this is our spot!!” When I realized what I was witnessing: a sacred moment in sorority life, when a PNM becomes a pledge and sisters can finally talk to her about booze.
I saw so many women who looked tired enough to fall over, while the other half were fanatically chugging sugar-free Redbull. These women were intense, and fought for their territory fiercely. They were part tribal warriors, but with Michael Kors watches.
The best view though, would have to be watching two chapters duke it out over a spot on the chairs. I saw elbows thrown, hair pulled, and so much passive aggressive muttering that it felt like I was home for Thanksgiving.
Also, I honestly don’t know what I would have done if I had seen another selfie stick. Screams of “OMG GET IN THIS GROUP SHOT” rung throughout the Union Lawn, followed by everyone throwing up gang signs and smiling until it looked like it hurt.
Bid Day was also proof of how sorority women can’t resist climbing on elevated surfaces, regardless of their sobriety. The ladies stayed firmly planted on their respective picnic tables, much more stable than their usual inebriated table dancing.
I still don’t understand the concept of “bid day,” and any questions in my mind were droned out by the damn chanting. I swear I will hear those chants all throughout my hibernation. I’ve started repeating simple lines of dialogue in my head to create the same sense of welcome and acceptance in my head as was felt between the sororities… But maybe you just have to pay for that feeling.
Just when I thought it wouldn’t get any worse, their new members came out, and they screamed even louder. It was both heartwarming and ear shattering how much they cared. It was fun to watch, but I just wish I could have had ear plugs… Or my own megaphone to participate in the festivities.
It was almost overwhelming, a bunch of women with wooden Greek letters on sticks, who had their faces painted, all screaming at each other. It was like watching twelve separate pep rallies all at the same time, except no one not involved cared.
In the end, they all gathered to take even more photos, and then begun the mass exodus back to Amos. Congratulations and good luck to all the girls who found their homes. It’s going to be the nuttiest years of your life… And it all starts this weekend, at 500 weekend… You know I’ll be watching, ready to report it all on YikYak.
You know you love me,
XOXO Gossip Squirrel
PS: Next year I’m starting my own sorority: Sigma Alpha Squirrel