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10 Things To Say To Pretend Like You Watched The Super Bowl

The Super Bowl is one of the biggest events in America. Everyone gathers around their TV sets to watch the most important football game of the year. Everyone… except you. So you ended up watching the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet instead of the game. How’re you going to pretend you watched the Super Bowl? With these 10 sentences, that’s how.

10.) “Did you see that one commercial?”:
Bringing up that “one” commercial will definitely get people believing you weren’t actually watching the puppy bowl on animal planet the whole time. Was the commercial for Scientology? Tide? Martin Luther King Jr.? Doesn’t matter. They will describe it in excruciating detail and you’ll feel like you really did watch it.

9.) “I ate so many wings”:
You can’t have a Super Bowl without lots of food. And the most important food? Hot wings. Tell all your friends about the copious amounts of buffalo chicken you stuffed into your stomach all afternoon and if they don’t believe you, describe your painful bowel movements from the hot wing aftermath.

8.) “What game was the ref watching?”:
No matter the sport, saying this will make it seem like you were invested in the game. Can you believe all those calls? Crazy. That ref was just… oh… he was bad. Almost as bad as the Browns — there’s a good sports reference! 

7.) “I knew they would win”:
You’ve been so invested in this season of football you just knew that team would win. And you were totally right! ‘Cause you totally watched the game and they totally won. Totally.

6.) “I’m surprised that one guy played so well considering all the scandals”:
Why not get political when talking about the Super Bowl? What better way to show that you know lots about football than bringing up the scandals? What scandal? Oh, you don’t know? You gotta start watching more ESPN — they’re the biggest name in drama these days.

5.) “That halftime show blew my mind”:
The lights, the effects, the music. Everything about that halftime show was over the top and you loved it. Oh, who was the artist? Ahhhh they just did such a good job with their pop and/or possibly rock genre. And that special guest star? I was surprised.

4.) “I got so wasted I barely remember it”:
Avoid any specific question about the game with this simple answer. Obviously you were guzzling down some beers next to your buddies on some leather couches all day long, so you forgot what exactly happened. But you definitely watched the game.

3.) “Next year my team is taking the win though”:
Talk about the future instead of what happened in the super bowl. Talk about how next year, your team is going to go all the way! If they ask what “your” team is exactly, just name your favorite animal, noun, or racial slur.

2.) “BOOM, that one play though!”:
That one play was insane. How that one person had the ball and then BAM! THE PLAY. If they don’t know what play you’re talking about then obviously they didn’t pay close enough attention to the game like you did. Throw in a “you had to be there” and you’re golden.

1.) “My friend threw an insane Super Bowl party”:
Talk about how you had the sickest party and coolest time with your bros. If your friends are confused, just be like, “Oh, you don’t know them” and take a sip of the nearest drink without breaking eye contact. No further questions.


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