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Quiz: Are You Meaner or Greener?

 

Here at the University of North Texas, we pride ourselves as the Mean Green. When people on the street ask us about who we are, we say, “First and foremost, I am Mean, and I am also Green.” There is no higher cause, no greater flag to rally around, than the Green Flag That Is Also So Mean, As Mean As It Is Green.

 

That being said, despite our best efforts to balance these two chaotic forces inside us, sometimes, we may be Meaner than we are Greener. Though technically a Level 3 Infraction and fixable only through Reprocessing, we at Black Sheep are not ones to judge. Here, for the first time outside of the Apogee Reprocessing Facility, you can take their Imperfection Quiz to see whether you are Meaner or Greener!

 

Q: Which Muppets character are you?

A.) Miss Piggie

B.) Kermit the Frog

 

Q: How deep is your love for Scrappy?

A.) I hate him.

B.) I want to be him.

 

Q: What is your favorite cafeteria?

A.) Bruce

B.) Kerr

 

Q: How do you feel about the new Union?

A.) It is a great temple of progress.

B.) It is a barbaric den of sin.

 

Q: So how about the handsome members of our football team?

A: I have befriended none of them. 

B. I have befriended many of them.

 

Q: The President of our University, hallowed be his name. What do you think of him?

A.) He is an alien lizard.

B.) He is an alien lizard.

 

Q: Apples or oranges?

A.) Apples!

B. This question is foolish.

 

Q: How do you feel about communism?

A.) I started it.

B.) I ended it.

 

Q: Do you recycle?

A.) No, it is the meanest thing.

B.) No, it is the greenest thing.

 

Q: Have you ever… you know?

A.) How dare you ask me that.

B.) A few times, when I was with friends.

 

Q: What is the greatest sin you have committed in Denton?

A.) I went to a concert where I did not smile at anyone.

B.) I slandered LSA Burgers under the pale moonlight.

 

Q: What do you eat when you eat on campus?

A.) Old homework.

B.) Mice, no bread.

 

Q: Where were you during our bowl game last year?

A.) I was there, and I was sleeping.

B.) I was not there, and I was weeping.

 

Q: What do you wish you could study at our university if you could redo college?

A.) Memory Erasure    

B.) Friendship Arts

 

Q: How sharp are your talons?

A.) I removed them due to an executive order.

B.) They are as piercing as the sun’s rays.

 

Count them up! Take the number of A’s you have and divide by fifteen, and that’s what percentage Green you are! If you’re Greener, you’re bashful, uncertain, and omniscient, and you’re the kind of person to complain about how much air is in the chip bag. Things you enjoy include meeting new people, wrangling eagles, running to class, and apologizing profusely.

 

Now count up your B’s and that’s what percentage Mean you are! If you’re pretty Mean, there’s a good chance are musically inclined, smell good, and discovered Dave Matthews Band before anyone else. Things you enjoy include playing solitaire, high-fiving, telling lies, and sniffing loudly in class. Now take your results to Apogee and submit yourself for Processing so you can end up a Good Eagle — one we can all be proud of!

 

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