Illinois State’s annual homecoming: a full week of drunken shenanigans with your friends to show your school spirit. This year, however, homecoming has been stripped of tradition and the face, well… body, of ISU has been given a new image that we won’t be able to forget… no matter how hard we try.
Until halftime, everything was going according to plan. The Redbird football team was on their A-game, the weather was perfect for leggings and Spirit Jerseys, and the concession stand sold a record number of Pumpkin Spice Lattes. After the second quarter, the score was 34-7, Redbirds. As the Redbirds rushed off the field and onto the sidelines, the Big Red Marching Machine took their places on the field to give the students of ISU a homecoming performance they would not soon forget.
It was a spectacular display of music and motion combined. The band chose to do a rendition of Nicki Minaj’s song “Anaconda” which had nothing to do with football or ISU, but got the crowd hyped up and twerking in the stands. During the middle of the song, one of the tuba players dropped his instrument—and his pants. He immediately began ripping off the remainder of his clothing and sprinted across the field, weaving in and out of the other band members who continued to play.
Everyone immediately wanted to know the identity of this au naturel tuba player. After days of anticipation, it was released that the identity of the homecoming streaker was senior Rodney Ginsee. “It was nothing really. I just figured it’d be funny because, ya know, naked people running across fields are hilarious. Ha, naked tuba player. Classic. Anyway, I never thought it would turn into such a big deal. As soon as people found out it was me, they started coming up to me and taking pictures with me and asking me to streak across the Quad. I just wanted to do something I’d be remembered by.”
Maybe it was the music, the ISU homecoming spirit, or the ridiculous amount of alcohol consumed that day, but everyone in the stands knew this was a magical moment. Junior Jeff Tribett told The Black Sheep, “it was an intense moment for everyone. We were hella turnt because we all knew that we would forever be changed. That boy, nay, that man brought an entirely new meaning to Hancock Stadium.”
Jeff wasn’t the only one who was touched by this experience. Sophomore Alex Durham told The Black Sheep while lighting up a blunt, “it was crazy, man. Like, he was so free, just how birds are in nature… like a redbird. It’s like I saw myself in him,” he took another hit and his eyes widened, “I saw all of us in him. He was the Redbirds, bro.”
“I hate to say it, but goddammit he was majestic,” head football coach, Brock Spack, told us. “I mean, I’ve never heard a crowd go so crazy. Everyone just lost their minds! People started jumping up and down in the stands, cheerleaders were doing unauthorized flips on the sidelines, and even some of the players started running alongside him! His nudity brought the Illinois State spirit out of everyone.”
After hearing so much positive feedback from the students and Coach Spack, the decision was clear. Goodbye Reggie, hello Rodney. Illinois State quickly took down every Reggie Redbird logo and changed them all to the silhouette of a naked male holding a tuba in front of his nether-regions. Ginsee stood back to look at the new logo over the bridge and said, “I always knew my naked body would be famous, but I never imagined it would be like this.”