If there’s one thing any student needs to know about GVSU before accepting admittance, or Allendale in general, is that once it starts snowing it literally never stops. Most students tour campus when it’s spring or summer, making them think that the campus is “beautiful” and “squirrel-friendly,” but ignore the advice from their peers to suit up and prepare for the winter. One student here at GV had a very fateful encounter with our awful weather by entering Lot H where he was unable to find his car to head back home. At this point GVSU student Clarence Fishmen decided that it would be better to just drop out of school than to dig out his car.
“I’m done,” said Fishmen, “So done. A little snow? Ok. Ice? I guess. My entire car covered within eight hours and I’d have to shovel it off just to drive to campus where it’ll get covered in snow again? Nope.”
One would think that with all the money we students pump into this place (roughly $200 million from just the cost of attendance for a semester — trust us, we did the math) they would spend more time and resources on winterizing the campus. However, GVSU simply throws some sand and maybe salt down and call it good when they should totally just be building garages or even having snow days. This lack of car shelter posed problems for Fishmen when his 2001 Mini Cooper was buried deep in the snow without the power to drive itself out.
“I thought, okay I guess I’ll go outside and dig it out,” said Fishmen, ” I even borrowed my roommate’s shovel without asking because, I mean, who asks? Anyway, after scraping off my windshield I realized my life was spiraling downward and I had no one to blame except myself…okay and Grand Valley and I guess whoever created snow. So yeah, I called registration, ditched my car, and dropped out.”
Feeling the third day stress of the new school year, Fishmen dropped his backpack in the snow and never looked back. “The last thing I want to deal with when I get up in the morning and/or get done with a hard day of Philosophy and Elementary Education classes is having a buried car,” Fishmen stated. “Honestly, GV should give out warning pamphlets about the winters here, and a fine-print disclaimer in their campus orientation brochures that they don’t take care of their lots or roads.”
After slipping and sliding his way to a bus stop, Clarence Fishmen got as far as downtown Grand Rapids before realizing he can’t really escape GVSU without a car. If you walk around the School of Ed you’ll see Fishmen begging for spare change as he couldn’t find a job without a college degree: “It’s fine though,” he said, “Being a School of Ed hobo beats working at Meijer.”