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Study Shows Pitt Students Fear New Political Phenomenon


In a new study released by the Department of Political Science at Pitt this week, shocking results have unearthed the truth behind the fear young people have of admitting their new political ideologies, especially to their parents. These studies, conducted via interview of the Student Marxist Association and College Democrats Club, lead to discoveries about what life at an urban university really does to an individual’s belief system.


“I just, I don’t know,” stated Dan Hamilton, one of the participants in the study, “I mean, when I came to Pitt, I was a republican. I thought, ‘women aren’t equal to me, climate change is a hoax, and I need my guns in case ISIS attacks my house!’ but now, I’m just… different.”


Dan explains that he took an introduction American politics course to fill a general education requirement, but then things took a strange turn. He began to actually learn real things about actual politics.


“Once I actually learned what democratic socialism was, I thought, ‘hey, this isn’t a half bad idea!’ and I got involved with one of the groups on campus that supports…” he paused, sighing, “Bernie Sanders. Then, one thing led to another, I guess.”


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Though this discovery about himself was quite shocking to Dan, he soon found out he was not the only one facing this phenomenon.


“Well, I’m from central Pennsylvania, and pretty much everyone from my suburban hometown is a die-hard republican,” said Marissa Jones, a friend of Dan and a fellow member of the Young Liberals Organization. “I mean, it was all Penn State football, hunting, and church. Then, I came to Pitt, and I realized there is a whole different world out there. Did you know there are people here who are, like, not white? And speak other languages? Oh, and practice really unique religions? It’s crazy! Also, Penn State sucks.”


Marissa states that she was a biology major, but has now switched into the Urban Studies program due to all of the eye-opening experiences she has had living in a city environment and learning that social issues do, in fact, exist.  


“My parents were mad at first, that I didn’t want to be a doctor anymore, but they’ve gotten over it,” she says, “It was hard telling them I was a democrat and that I had begun to care about the fact that underprivileged people in urban environments exist. My dad and I still get into fights over the CNN posts I share on Facebook, though. That hasn’t changed.”


Though some parents are somewhat accepting of the new social changes their children have made while attending Pitt, some are not so accepting. Dan told us of the trials he has faced when confronting his family.


“Yeah, my dad was pretty pissed off when I told him I was considering voting for Bernie Sanders,” Dan told us, “he said he didn’t raise a pansy flower child, and if I wanted to be a stupid, poor hippie, maybe I should study art history, instead of mechanical engineering. He even threatened to send me to West Virginia University, so I would be surrounded by small-minded rednecks and change my ways, but I’m in too deep now, nothing can take me back to that.”


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