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Sutherland Standoff Ends in Clean Bathroom

Here at The Black Sheep, we pride ourselves on only reporting hard-hitting facts and important stories. We bring the students of Pitt not just the stories they want to hear, but the stories they need to hear. This is why we were especially excited when we heard about an event that occurred in Sutherland East this past weekend.

 

Cheers of happiness rang through the halls of an undisclosed floor in Sutherland, as the suite mates realized one by one that someone had given in and finally cleaned the shared bathroom. The bathroom, which hadn’t been tidied since the boys moved in had accumulated a reported “shit ton” of beard hair, soap scum, and toothpaste splatter. We reached out to the suite mates for comment, but only one responded.

 

Charlie Plunge, a freshman psychology major, told us the riveting tale of how, while looking for roommates, he settled on the group of guys he did because, “They like seemed totally chill. They’re totally great guys, but…” When prompted to continue, he just shook his head. “I’m just glad we have a clean bathroom again.”

 

Charlie isn’t sure who cleaned the bathroom, but promises it wasn’t him. He kept thinking about it, but it just wasn’t his turn, you know? It wasn’t fair for him to have to do it when it was definitely someone else’s turn. Charlie explains that they wanted to use a rotational system, and that he wasn’t set to clean until the first week of October. He wasn’t sure who was first, and apparently no one did.

 

“I didn’t want to be the hard ass who tells people what to do. There’s enough of those in our lives already. I mean just last week my mom yelled at me for not calling her since I moved in. Geez mom I’m a responsible adult and I can make my own choices!” Charlie exclaimed.

 

He said that everyone had made really passive aggressive comments about the quickly deteriorating condition of the bathroom. Nothing helpful was said, but everyone accused everyone else of not contributing, but not when they were around because that’s a dick move. There were many claims of buying supplies, and it seems that everyone had bought the same toilet bowl scrubber. There was no scrubber brush, and Charlie conceded that maybe they should have been a little more organized about the supplies.

 

Charlie told us, “It was really embarrassing to bring my girlfriend over. We’ve only been together since O Week so I don’t want her to see the way that I really am. It was awkward enough when she found out I couldn’t do laundry.”

 

When we questioned Charlie’s girlfriend, she turned bright red and wouldn’t make eye contact with anyone. She mumbled something about “it was so nasty,” and “someone had to do it.” We asked her if she had cleaned the bathroom, and she just rolled her eyes. She didn’t say no, though, so the mystery of the bathroom continues. It’ll be interesting to see if the bathroom is cleaned for a second time this semester.

 

Charlie left us with a moment of reflection, “maybe I should have just cleaned the bathroom myself. That would have been so much easier. Maybe next time… Or not.”

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