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Terp Problems: Course Registration Rage

 

You pour out your blood, sweat, and tears in order to become a Terp. Then UMD asks you to contribute another pint or so in exchange for getting into your major/minor/certificate/college. Not to mention the other symptoms of Terpdom–a pathological need to rub a bronze turtle’s nose, the inability to watch a football game sober, ridiculously long walks to classes that include an atrocity known as the Stamp Hill. That should be enough, right? You’ve suffered a lot to become a student here. So the next step–registering for classes–should be the easy part, right?

 

Ha. If only. The Black Sheep has pinpointed the five most rage-inducing aspects of registration.

 

5.) Having a Later Registration Date than Your Friends:

 

jealous

 

You and your roommate share the same age, major, work ethic, and taste in ice cream. So why is their registration date two weeks earlier than yours? Oh, right. They took five billion AP credits in high school. Three years later, UMD still acts like this makes them better than you and forces you to watch and salivate over their ability to register fourteen days earlier than you. Fourteen days to get into classes that are fun, get rid of three gen-eds, and allow them to sleep in until noon. Fourteen days that make you hate them a little. (We warn you that “a little” might turn into SOOO MUCH when they get into Psychology of Evil or American Sign Language.)

 

4.) Clearing Advising Blocks:

 

advisor

 

You applied to and got into this school. You’ve gone this long without killing your roommate. You don’t skip class that often. That means you’re kind of an adult, right? One capable of making their own decisions? Apparently not. UMD will throw you under the bus when it comes to healthy food, nice dorms, and financial aid, but they will baby you in just one area–apparently you’re not allowed to register for classes without having your hand held by an advisor. But don’t let that get you down! Look on the bright side, the appointment will only last five minutes. Just close your eyes and go somewhere else while a complete stranger maps out your future.

           

3.) Clearing Financial Blocks:

 

dollar

 

Being robbed is a fact of attending college– Okay, fine. You suck it up and pay them. But, no, that’s not enough. UMD refuses to let you register for classes if there are so much as two cents on your student account. Seriously UMD, does it really matter if we pay you those twenty dollars for losing our swipe after we register for classes? UMD has made their answer loud and clear; Yes. We want your money more than your happiness. Now pay up!

 

2.) Waitlists:

 

IC

 

Waitlists are like a super-long line to the UMD dairy five minutes before it closes. You can viscerally imagine that relief of every fantasy coming true. It’s so close that you can touch it. But you don’t know if you’ll actually get it, and you’re officially in a hot, ice cream-less hell. Doing your daily waitlist check-in and seeing that your number has gone up is both the best and most agonizing moment of your day. It makes you obsessively check and recheck Testudo. In moments of contemplation, you wonder just how and why your endorphins became so closely linked to single-digit numbers on a laptop screen.

 

1.) Insanely Early Registration Times:

 

too early

 

So you did it! You slew the dragon of mandatory advising. Your wallet sacrificed itself for the financial blocks. Now you’re good to register at . . . 8:23 a.m. on a Saturday morning. You can’t bring yourself to wake up on time for your 10 a.m. lecture. Yet somehow you’ll have to summon the spirit to wake up and log onto Testudo three hours earlier than normal. The Black Sheep advises you to think of this as an opportunity, not a rage-inducing chore. Pull an all-nighter. Swim in the fountain, climb to the top of Byrd. By the time you’re done it’ll be morning and you’ll be in a mood for making responsible decisions.

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