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The 5 Stages of Going Back to ISU



It’s that time again; second semester has begun. For most people, the end of winter break is a roller coaster of emotions


Stage 1 – Denial




This is always the first stage of going back to The ILSTU. It starts while you’re still at home, casually ignoring the fact that classes start in less than a week. The peak of the denial phase usually occurs late Sunday night before the first day back, as you stare at unopened Chegg boxes with zero intention of actually opening them anytime soon. The worst part is that you don’t even pretend to be prepared for anything so you just lie to yourself to feel better. Keep counting on that snow day, Lukas. We’re sure it’ll happen.


Stage 2 – Anger




There’s nothing worse than having to do stuff after spending an entire month in your pajamas eating everything in sight. Plus, doing stuff sucks. Especially school stuff. Watterson food gives you the shits, books are too expensive, and worst of all, every goddamn building is at least 20 degrees colder than it is outside. What kind of bullshit is that? The first Monday back is always the worst because everyone feels the same way – just a bunch of young adults reluctantly walking in the cold from class to class, filled with hatred.


Stage 3 – Depression




Everyone’s familiar with this stage. Finally, the first Monday is over, you get into your room, and then proceed to pass out face-first onto your bed. You’ve already been assigned two papers and seventy pages of reading in a book you haven’t bought yet. You could just start your work and get it over with, but why do that when you could stare at your computer screen while you rewatch every season of Parks & Rec for the third time. Let’s face it, you’re already too numb from school to do anything else.


Stage 4 – Acceptance




It’s now official, there’s no escaping it. Second semester is here whether you like it or not, so you just decide to deal with it. You even start to look on the bright side; studying sucks, but at least Milner is nice and you get to eat at La Bama and The Rock anytime you want now that you’re back! Ok, even if they’re lame reasons, they’re still reasons to try and be positive. You’re stuck here until someone tells you that you’ve officially learned enough shit to get to go out into the world and try not to fuck up there, too.


Stage 5 – Excitement




Wednesday rolls around and for the first time since you’ve been back you think, “Thank God I’m back at school!” Pub Wednesday? The bars downtown? Day-drinking with friends? Praise Jesus! You finally remember why you actually came to college in the first place. Sure, the class part sucks, but being in college is like a four-year pass to get as drunk as possible as much as possible without being considered an alcoholic. And you take full advantage of that opportunity. So go on, balance out the school work with some Drifters, some Fat Jack’s, and maybe even a little Six Strings.


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