It’s December, which means there are only two weeks left of this semester, including finals week. Yeah, we can’t believe it either. Your professors (if they’re nice) are starting to hand out study guides for finals and are trying to relax you and tell you it’s not going to be that bad of a test. You’re sitting in your seat glaring at the study guide that was forced into your possession, and you want to scream at your professor, “you sit on a throne of lies!” The grief you’re going through about December already arriving has hit you hard. So The Black Sheep brings you the five stages of grief only college students could understand.
Denial and Isolation: You tell yourself that you haven’t left your bed because it’s so cold outside and you’re so warm, but really you’re just so confused about it already being December that your brain physically cannot process enough willpower to force your body out of bed. You just want to stay in bed for the rest of the month. Or at least until it’s time to go home for break.
Anger: Now you’re throwing things at your roommate, ripping out all of the pages of December in your calendar and crumpling up your study guides because you’re just so mad at the impending struggle of finals. How could December do this to you? You’re not ready for finals yet. How dare you, December.
Bargaining: Including thoughts like these: “I thought I was a good student! If only I didn’t go out three times a week I could’ve had better grades, and then I wouldn’t have to worry so much about finals week. If only I studied hard enough for the first test and gotten an A instead of a C, I wouldn’t have to be so stressed about finals. I should have written my course paper earlier in the semester so I wouldn’t have to pull an all-nighter to write 10 pages. If only I had paid closer attention to my syllabus so I would’ve known that December was right around the corner!”
Depression: You’ve fallen back to the first stage of grief by staying in your warm bed because everything around you is just the worst, including the weather and classes. Even your friends can’t cheer you up with Facebook invitations to ugly sweater Christmas parties and promises of eggnog and some kind of gift exchange. Nothing in the whole world could make you feel better. You’ve officially turned into a depressed version of the Grinch who hates December and only loves Netflix.
Acceptance: Okay, so it’s December! What’s so bad about December? Maybe there will be a few snow days and then we won’t have to go to school! And really, three weeks and then it’s Christmas break! And Christmas break means getting money from my family! And money from family means I’d no longer be a poor college student until I go and spend it on beer! December is the best! We’ll all get through this.