If you’ve spent any time on this great campus, then you know it has its very own spaceship…erhm, “art museum.” If we had to guess, we would assume you’ve probably never been inside the place, based on a very realistic fear that you might walk out on a different planet. If you have been inside, it was probably via the most recent Batman vs. Superman trailer. If you’re anything like us at The Black Sheep, then you’re pretty dense when it comes to modern art. Luckily, we sent our art expert inside to review the masterpieces so you didn’t have to. After heavy analysis, we found that a lot of the art is pretty relatable to college students. Don’t worry, we took pictures.
The Drunken Fiddler:
It is evident from the fiddler’s blissful expression that he’s just returned home from a glorious night on the town. He has removed his pants, a sign that he has no plans of going anywhere else this evening. However, notice that he has forgotten to take off his fanny pack because, well, he’s likely wasted. The calming waterfalls behind him indicate that he is lulling his roommates to sleep with “Waterfalls” by TLC on the fiddle.
The message behind this painting is clear. It shows a sad, young lady-student studying for finals on the left. To her right is a blank space representing everything she knows about her upcoming exam. Below her is a road that ends the peak of a cliff, a cliff she without a doubt has intentions of jumping off of because of her stress levels. See, we told you these would be relatable.
These people were real and they were red. They just stood there spitting blood at you so you would go away. Looks they figured out what to do with all that blood. It was scary, and we left.
If you travel up the stairs of the Broad, there’s a music video of two roommates going at it. It’s a 12-minute video of the two just screaming at one another without words, but if you pay close enough attention, it becomes obvious that the boy is upset because the girl hasn’t done her dishes in over a week. It’s quite obvious that she did that on purpose because he took her last condom when he KNEW she had plans to get it in this weekend. Typical.
This piece was the most abstract of all. We spent a lot of time marveling at it in all of it’s wonder, and after an hour or so we realized that these three women are vacuuming their cacti in their matching pajamas. We can’t make this shit up people. This image portrays the aftermath of a co-op rager. It’s unclear if the cacti have appeared as a result of a gnarly LSD hangover, or if the they are everyday decor in the home. After all, it is a co-op.
Overall, the experience was riveting, and we would give it an 8/10 simply because there weren’t as many boobs as we expected there would be. Either way, we suggest you hop aBROAD the UFO, if not for the art, then at least for the Starbucks.