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The DePaul Bathroom Fight to the Death

Let’s cut to the chase here, and recognize the fact that everybody poops. Perhaps the worst thing about college is no knowing where the best place to poop is when you need to poop. So, for all of those times you just need a place to go, The Black Sheep has you covered with a tournament style ranking of all of the kinds of bathrooms you might encounter at DePaul University.

 

First we will list each bathroom and give out different points to each one based on its pros and cons.  These points will then be used to determine the winner in our head to head round.

 

Let’s meet the competitors: 

 

Suite Style Bathroom:

 

1

Weighing in at a lot bigger than you expected, featuring not one but two sinks is the suite style bathroom. 

 

Pros:
Easily accessible +5
Has a toilet and a shower +2

 

Cons:
You have to clean it yourself -1
People don’t like it when you come in and try to take pictures of their private bathroom -1

Final score: 5

 

Community Style Bathroom:

 

2

Approaching the ring, with a total of three different rooms, the community style bathroom. 

 

Pros:
Is cleaned for you everyday +7
Individual shower stalls +3
People generally don’t care if you try to take pictures of said bathroom +1

 

Cons:
You have to share with every other person on your floor -5
Three separate rooms to get your business done -4

Final score:  2

 

The Student Center:

 

11111

 

It’s the John Cena of tournament style bathroom rankings, if we do say so ourselves. But, just because we named it after the only wrestler we can remember, doesn’t mean that it has this in the bag.  Let’s see how it comes out.

Pros:
Clean +4
There never seems to be a line for any of these bathrooms +5
Hand Dryers +3

 

Cons:
It’s super awkward when you walk in and someone else is in there -1
I got weird looks for trying to take pictures of the bathroom -1

Final Score 10

The Ray:

 

5

You do not know how committed you are to your job until you walk to the Ray just to take pictures of the bathroom, to then describe on the Internet. 

 

Pros:
Large +3
Pool access +9

 

Cons:
Crowded -3
A lot of naked guys (could be a pro or a con, depending on the person. So I won’t dock any points for that, but I just thought you might like to know that if you are looking for naked dudes, the Ray is the place to find them) 
Humid -1

Final Score: 8



The Tournament:

 

Suite Style (5) vs. Community Style (2)
Was this one any real contest? Even though you have to clean your own bathroom in a suite style the convenience of having one room connected your room outweighs three rooms down the hall. Come on, no sense of community really beats the fact that you can poop and wash your hands in the same room. DePaul even asks more for suite style rooms than it does for community. This one was easy, next!

 

Student Center (10) vs. The Ray (8)
Here we go! This one is a lot closer of a match up than our previous one. Still, the Student Center bathrooms are almost immaculate. In the end, Student Center just barely cuts The Ray out of the running for the best bathroom at DePaul University.


 

Championship Round!!!

 

Suite Style vs. Student Center
Now we know what you’re thinking.  The Student Center has 5 more points than Suite Style, making this an easy one.  You would be right (and are, in fact), but it’s not as easy of a win for The Student Center.  Due to the well-brought up point that your dorm room is a lot more convenient to get to than the student center, it will be awarded an extra 4 points.  The Student Center still has much better bathrooms, but if you gotta go, you should run across campus to a different building. 

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