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The Do’s and Don’ts of Applying for Internships at ISU

 

If you’re like many ISU students, you’ve already started looking for a summer internship, and if you’re like us, you take career advice from silly newspapers. Luckily for you, you may not have to worry about internship-hunting for much longer, because we’re here to help with these useful “do’s and don’ts” of applying for internships.

 

Do start the application process early. Even if the deadline is in another few months, it’s worth it to fill out the application ahead of time: early submissions show employers that you’re not one to procrastinate.

 

Don’t threaten the employer with blackmail. A sex tape of a hiring manager with a prostitute might work out in your favor at first, but not in the long run. Sooner or later the authorities will get word of your extortion attempt and have you arrested.

 

Do take advantage of connections you’ve made at ISU. Illinois State University has many business fraternities and professional organizations which can help land you that dream internship you’ve been looking for.

 

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Don’t mention the fact that you once shaved your genitals and scattered your pubes across ISU’s Quad because you lost a dare with your buddies. Despite what you’ve been told in your upbringing, honesty is not generally the best policy. They won’t be impressed that you “stick to your word”.

 

Do proofread your applications. Just a single mistake will prove to employers that you’re not very thorough with your work. An application is the first and often only impression you’ll make on a company, so you better make the most of it!

 

Don’t write on the application, “This company is dumb. Your face is dumb. I don’t even really want to work for this dumb company and your stupid face. I’d rather stay home all day and watch porn and eat Frosted Flakes and wear nothing but boxers. Please don’t hire me at your dumb, stupid company. P.S. Fuck you and your dumb face.”

 

Do write a follow-up email to the hiring manager after you’ve submitted your application. Sending an email will only increase your chances of getting hired, as it will demonstrate not only that you’re willing to go the extra mile, but also that you truly care about your employment.

 

Don’t allow there to be conflicting information between your application and your resume. Also, don’t mail the employer a dismembered voodoo doll made in his or her likeness. Doing either of these things would make the employer seriously think twice about hiring you.

 

 

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