It’s old news that Snapchat is one of the most popular social media outlets in the world, especially among college students. If you don’t have one, you’re either really behind the times or you have a life outside of your phone, which is weird. It is therefore crucial that everyone at FSU knows the fundamentals of using the app so we can appropriately make fools of ourselves, without looking too ridiculous.
DO: Snap a picture or action video every squirrel you spot on campus.
It’s an unspoken truth that the more squirrels you capture, the more respect you will earn from your loyal followers. The FSU squirrels are a very sociable species, so it’s easy to find a photogenic one at any given spot on campus. In fact, it’s hard to avoid getting a squirrel in your pictures. Give yourself 10 points if you catch one eating an acorn, 50 points eating Chik Fil A, and 100 if it’s eating your leg. Don’t worry about captioning the Snapchat unless it simply says, “squirrel”. The majestic rodent speaks for itself.
DON’T: Snapchat your wild nights out.
It is now the fourth week of the semester. Nobody wants to see any more videos of drunken students doing the Seminole chop at a dark, ratchet bar. Especially over a hundred seconds of it. If you must let everyone know that you’re going out (understandable), opt for a pregame selfie that shows which cool people you’re with and how much alcohol you’re drinking. Just keep it under five minutes long.
DO: Snapchat house pets.
Squirrels aren’t the only animals that should be honored through Snapchat. It has become increasingly clear that the FSU campus story is, at minimum, fifty percent dogs. Snapchatting your pet can get you major perks, from being featured on a platform that all your peers can see to making your virtual friends say “aww” before tapping through the rest of your extraneous story. If you don’t have a pet, be sure to film a stranger’s so people at least know that your compassion extends beyond human interaction.
DON’T: Post pictures of yourself, a building, or a tree with the weather filter on at the start of a new season.
It is unoriginal and a waste of everyone’s time. Now if you really feel strongly about sharing the unremarkable change of weather, you must post it before all of your friends do, or somehow make it unique. For example if it is hot out and you need other people to recognize it, try taking a picture of melting ice and draw tiny polar bears on it. Then you can use the weather filter and an informative caption to spread awareness about Global Warming.
DO: Contort your face into the ugliest expressions you possibly can and send them to your BFFs (but not your BF).
This common technique is beneficial for multiple reasons. Learning all the crazy faces you can make will help you on your journey to self-discovery in this delicate time in your life. It will also bring you closer to your friends, as they will finally be able to relate to you after years of envying your external beauty. Lastly, stretching your face in various ways can help you burn calories and lose that baby fat! (Disclaimer: I made that fact up.) Make sure to put these Snapchats at a maximum of three seconds unless you want them to end up in your next birthday collage on Instagram.
DON’T: Snapchat food.
You may not know this but sharing a picture of your meal to the world is not only boring, but also selfish and rude. There is nothing worse than excitedly tapping on your friends’ stories to find a picture of an ordinary, maybe gross plate of microwaveable contents, or a Starbucks cup. Oh wait there is something worse: seeing a picture of the most mouthwatering and expensive looking dish ever while starving. Keep in mind that many of your viewers check Snapchat after a long day of school or work, or while waiting for their food at a restaurant. Don’t Snapchat your food. It’s not cool.