Spring break: sun, sand, and Girls Gone Wild. It’s a week full of shotgunning beers, slurring conversations, and not remembering that one time you fell asleep in the hot tub – or the kiddie pool, whichever. Here at The Black Sheep we have the low-down on the evolution of spring break from your baby years as a freshman, to your last year as a well-rounded and distinguished senior at UT.
Freshman Year: It’s a week of you and your friends getting drunk, dunker, and drunkest. Odds are you’ll spend upwards of $500 on gas, cheap liquor, and an even cheaper hotel — only to not remember over half of your trip or what hotel you stayed in. Hell, you probably won’t even sleep in the bed you paid for (get the stairwell or a mystery person’s room). It’s gonna be ratchet, kids. Live it up and don’t forget to funnel on the beach and what time the wet t-shirt contests happen.
Sophomore Year: So you’ve like, grown up so much over the course of a year, and you’re totally preparing for your second spring break. Hellz yeah. One of the only differences from this spring break and the previous is that you know to bring even more alcohol. Enough is never really enough, especially after a year of functioning alcoholism to raise your tolerance. You’re a seasoned spring breaker, so head back down to another shitty (but slightly less shitty) hotel in PCB and start shotgunning those symbols of underage adventure – Natty Lights.
Junior Year: The year of becoming 21, for those whose parents loved them enough to enroll them in school properly. Finally, your time has come to join the real ranks of adulthood and drink in public without fear of being arrested! With this being said, you’re over the cheap and unsanitary spring break conditions. You feel older and mature and think a nicer vacation is in order. So book that ticket to Cancun or a cruise to the Bahamas and go get shitfaced in a different country! You feel classier and can still get just as trashy while you exchange that George Washington for a bundle of pesos or, uh, Bahamian pesos. It’s clearly a win-win.
Senior Year: Your last spring break. Say it ain’t so. College is over and you survived, but the only thing you have to show for it is a piece of paper and a decimated liver from years of binge drinking and four spring breaks. Well, since it’s your last one, might as well go as hard as you freaking can. Book some kind of fancy hotel somewhere – maybe Miami this time – who knows, go crazy. Spend a massive amount of money and have no regrets because this will literally never happen again. Take the fun, drunk times while you can, people.
There’s something liberating about being underage and coming from an upper middle-class family and spending a week in a large closet getting trashed off cheap beer and walking around the beach with the “goods” showing. But eventually, it has to end, which is for the best as you go into the real world and try to find a job that doesn’t require intense cleavage. As the over-emotional pre-teens on Twitter say: Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.