There’s nothing that us Greeks love more than competing against each other for bragging rights. We compete in philanthropy, how attractive our pledge classes are compared to other organizations’ pledge classes, who has the most brownie points with our lord and savior Beelzebub for sacrificial lamb murders over the past year, and who can come up with the best mixer themes. Complete Greek Maneuver, however, is here to take the competition to a whole new level. We challenge all of our Greek readers to participate in the GDI Challenge!
How Does it Work?:
Participants must choose a full 7-day week in which they talk, act, and present themselves as GDIs to the rest of their campus. If they are able to survive without associating with anything Greek, then they win. If, at any point, someone pinpoints them as a Greek, asks what organization they belong to, etc., then they lose really hard and get made fun of as if they were a real GDI.
No Greek Letters:
This is pretty straightforward. Don’t wear your letters. GDIs don’t wear letters. We understand this might be hard, especially if you have them branded on to your left butt cheek, but since you’re acting as a GDI this week there really isn’t any need to moon innocent passersby.
Pull Zero Bitches:
This rule involves some skilled acting. GDIs have no game, so you can’t have any either. Attractive person looks in your direction? Play awkward and choke on your own spit. The challenge comes from not being your usual smooth, sexy self.
Refrain from Talking About Mixers, Formals, And Other Events:
GDIs have no idea what a party is. Like, they usually never go to them. Their idea of fun is slightly skewed; so instead of talking about normal people stuff like that dildos and dumpsters themed mixer you went to the other night, talk about paperclips and staples and office supplies and stuff.
No Digging Holes in the House Yard:
This is a telltale sign of someone who belongs to a Greek house. You shouldn’t be found anywhere on or around your house property, let alone digging holes in the yard. Everyone knows this is one of our most popular Friday after class drinking games, even dumb geeds.
Boring Snapchat Stories Only:
By now, we all know that geeds are super boring and that their lives aren’t filled with stuff like date parties, blood oaths, and drama like ours’. We understand that it’ll be really painful to refrain from snapchatting your brothers or sisters while they eat, but that kind of content is just too exciting for you to be taken seriously as a GDI.
No Intercourse At All, Whatsoever:
The easiest way to tell if someone is in Greek life if by their sex lives. Every single one of us has wild, verging on dangerous, sexual habits; and none of us can ever shut up about them. So in order for participants to protect themselves form being exposed during the challenge, we recommend no sex at all during the week. Good fucking luck.
Following the week of the challenge, the participant who complains the most about it to their brothers or sisters has the opportunity to win bonus bragging rights at their organization’s discretion. Good luck, and may the best geed win!