Halloween for most college kids means scrambling to sexualize a kitchen utensil for their costume, and muster up a believable excuse to cancel their morning shift on November 1st for hangover recovery. But Halloween isn’t just about slutty ketchup bottles and orange Solo cups; it’s about going out of your way to get scared! Luckily, the Twin Cities campus has plenty of spooky places nearby to explore this Halloween season.
10.) Washington Ave: The occasional banjo-playing hermits appearing out of nowhere aren’t the eeriest part of the Washington Avenue Bridge. Poet John Berryman flung himself over the bridge in 1972, and his ghost makes a cameo in the 1984 thriller fiction The Businessman: a Tale of Terror.
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9.) Minneapolis City Hall: Apparently an angry ghost who was hanged in 1898 has a hankering to piss off building attendants and attorneys. It has reportedly done everything from casting sick spells over lawyers, to appearing in its boxers to night workers.
8.) First Ave: Most concertgoers don’t know that a blonde woman who died at a concert haunts the first stall in the women’s restroom. So be careful the next time you’re turning up at a Phantogram concert and need to take a potty break. Tell your ladyfriends the first stall is occupied unless they want to piss themselves from a scary surprise.
7.) Pioneer Hall: Pio is supposedly a former psychiatric ward for Fairview patients. This might explain why students feel institutionalized in the barred dining hall, and get disoriented by the desolate, winding hallways. Other spin-off rumors like exorcisms and dorm murders exist in Pio’s history.
6.) Tate Lab: Tate is over 90 years old, and everyone knows that if a building is old, it’s either haunted or going to be haunted. The industrial, arid labs haunt students in physics-themed nightmares already. It’s as if the souls of former engineers are warning CSE majors to run away before it’s too late.
5.) Eddy Hall: Eddy Hall’s only visitors are security monitors who stop there to roll a blunt, and for good reason. The abandoned building is completely unstable, with a closed-down floor and inadequate safety alarm systems.
4.) The Gopher Way: Although the underground walkways help students avoid the cold, most of us would rather risk catching pneumonia than walk alone through the creepy Gopher tunnels at night. The tunnels echo so loudly, that it’s hard to tell if the footsteps are your own. Some students disappear in these Gopher trails and never return.
3.) The Bookhouse in Dinkytown: This closet-sized bookstore used to be an abandoned warehouse, which falls right onto the list of “basic creepy vocabulary.” You have to creep up a claustrophobic staircase before you enter the supposed store. Every walking space in the store is narrow and the floors are uneven. On a rainy day, it’s the perfect ambiance to read those Edgar Allen Poe poems on your Tumblr that you don’t actually understand.
2.) Northrop: Although the new Northrop Theatre is immaculate, some spirits still lurk through the premises. According to Northrop’s workplace rumors, a deceased stage manager haunts the auditorium. Apparently he’s more of a friendly Casper-type ghost (rather than a terrifying Amityville beast) that lurks around to make sure everything runs smoothly.
1.) Target Express: Once you step inside this supernatural supermarket, you’ll see a stagnant line of students who appear to have transformed into zombies. Those brave enough to enter are hypnotized by marked-down deals and weighed down by their fuller-than-intended grocery bags. Terrifyingly happy workers will stalk you through the store, and interrogate you until you confess that you can’t find the last thing on your grocery list. When you finally checkout, you’ll discover that the ghosts not only stole your soul, but your paycheck as well.