Some of us may have thought we were past the “awkward” middle school stage in life. Bad news—being embarrassing is just a part of living. Here are the top ten most embarrassing things GVSU students do on a regular basis.
10.) Bringing blankets to class:
For some reason, college students love reverting back to elementary school with blankets, naps, and Spongebob. But, it’s kinda gross to bring your blanket into class. When was the last time you washed that thing? Also, college classrooms are basically the petri dishes of the adult world so leave your dirty rag at home.
9.) Holding doors open for way too long:
Don’t not hold the door open for someone who is more than 2 seconds away. Just don’t. Either they won’t realize what you’re doing and make you wait or they’ll be forced to do that awkward half running, half walking thing to catch up to you. And the last thing people want to do is exercise.
8.) Calling professors by the wrong title:
It’s hard to remember who has a Ph.D. and who’s a professor. Some profs encourage students to call them by their first name, but that can be really awkward when you’re yelling: “HEY TED!” down the hall and a 40+ year-old balding man flips you a peace sign. Nothing will ever top the time you called your 7th Grade English teacher “Mom” though.
7.) Using the second doors on the bus:
These second-hand embarrassing situations always occur when using the second doors on the Rapid: 1.) someone can’t get the door open 2.) they can’t keep it held open for someone else without falling or 3.) they forget to hold it open and slam the door in someone’s face. There’s no winning.
6.) Having hope for a better future:
Silly millennial, success is for anyone but us. Between massive college debt and a small job market, it would be embarrassing to have any positive expectations for your future. Oh, you thought you could possibly own a house one day? Or maybe retire with social security? Don’t let optimism fool you.
5.) Trying to avoid protesters:
Whether it’s pro-life advocates, anti-fracking petitioners, or that new housing development, there’s no real way to avoid talking to strangers on campus. Yet, students still try to slip by undetected as if walking at the edge of the sidewalk really fast will make them invisible. They get caught and have to talk to an old woman about their “options” for “stuff.”
4.) Actually using the sock signal:
What year is this? 1986? For the record, no one cares if you are or are not having sex. It’s really not something to brag about by putting a sock on the door handle. Plus, it’s the 21st century. There are at least 12 apps you could use that would inform your roommate to come back in 20 minutes.
3.) Participating in bro-culture:
Ahhh, bro-culture or broture. It’s getting hard not to laugh out loud every time someone falls off their longboard or the fact that 75% of guys on campus have the same undercut, Macklemore-esque aka the Hitler Youth (for real) haircut. That’s really sad.
2.) Not moving downtown:
By the second or third year at GVSU, students should understand that Allendale sucks. And yet, some people never move to downtown Grand Rapids. Whether it’s pretentious Eastown or the slightly sketchy Westside, both are preferable options to living in the middle of nowhere/on campus in a dorm.
1.) Going to GVSU:
On top of the reason mentioned above, GVSU is pretty “ehhh.” Like 4/10 would recommend. For one, our biggest claim to fame is a Miley Cyrus parody video that went viral for two weeks. But hey, at least we can all be awkward messes together.