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Top 10: Mind-Numbing Classes Offered at Penn State

It’s that time of year again, college classes have begun once more, and the school is brimming with a psychotic mixture of happiness and severe resentment. Students who clamored chaotically to grab hold of their desired courses, only to realize a good chunk of classes end up having no business being required by their major. What makes even less sense is some of the classes offered in college in the first place. Here are ten such classes:

 

10.) AE562 Luminous Flux Transfer:
If you’re thinking the word “flux” indicates some radical time travel based class, you are sadly mistaken. The description of the course reads “Radiative transfer applied to lighting analysis; methods for computing direct and inter-reflected illumination; near-field photometry.” So whatever that means, just kick back and relax, because where you’re going, you don’t need grades (home, because you’ve failed out). 

 

9.) AEE201 Interpersonal Skills for Tomorrow’s Leaders:
If there’s one thing that’s well known about politicians, it’s how much their souls have shriveled away from their long time exposure on Capitol Hill. Thanks to this, creating any class that focuses on interpersonal relationships between future politicians seems contradictory towards what the future holds for our leaders. That is, unless, the relationship is robotic and without any sense of human dignity attached to it, then this class might make some sense. 

 

8.) AG150S Be a Master Student:
What exactly is meant by “Master Student”? Are students who take this class guaranteed to be a master student? How does this class help people when they’re no longer students? If we don’t take this class, are we guaranteed to fail? Are you waiting for a masturbation joke? 

 

7.) ASTRO 005 The Sky and Planets:
Considering the fact that everyone learned all the planets of the solar system in elementary school, do we really need a college class reiterating them? Unless the class teaches students how the clouds are plotting against us and planning a revolution, we’ll pass for now. 

 

6.) ENGL 004 Basic Writing Skills:
Aren’t basic writing skills, you know, a necessity for getting into college in the first place?  Unless the application system also accepts the usage of symbols and squiggly lines in their process. Either that, or the incoming freshmen are getting worse every year.

 

5.) CMLIT 191 Intro to Video Game Culture:
Is there even a culture to video games anymore besides calling eachother’s mom’s whores and sluts? Considering most of the games pouring out nowadays are either copy & paste Call of Duty, or EA trying to squeeze every penny out of their customers with Madden 27, we’re not sure what the hell this class is about.

 

4.) BBH 148S Coping with College: A First Year Transition Seminar:
We understand this is obviously geared towards incoming freshmen, but there’s something they should know off the bat: there’s no getting used to college. The long gaps between semesters help ensure that every time a student returns, they’ll feel out of place once more, and the cycle starts again.

 

3.) COMM 150 The Art of Cinema:
It’s just watching a bunch of movies for a semester, and it’s a requirement for film majors. Funny how that is, considering most people in the class are usually sticking their noses in a phone or laptop while Casablanca plays on the giant screen in front of them. Even something as simple as watching a flick is apparently too much for the student body nowadays.

 

2.) DANCE 100 Dance Appreciation:
The name of the class alone makes it sound like the teacher, who had a burning desire to be a dancer, was in complete denial of her inability to dance gracefully. So in order to make people finally appreciate her unrecognized talent, she created a class for students to bare her sashaying around to Celine Dion music. That’s what we hope the story/class is, anyway.

 

1.) LST496 Independent Studies (Library Studies):
For a major that sounds completely absurd in the first place, an independent study of “the library” basically sounds like doing free work for the Pattee Paterno Building. If anything, the program could be an elaborate trap prepared by the board of trustees to ensnare students into being college librarians for the rest of their lives. Really, though, have you ever seen a happy librarian? It makes you question why someone would even take a library studies major in the first place.

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