What’s that smell in the air? Probably the dirty dishes still left in your sink from January. But also SPRING BREAK! It’s right around the corner, kind of. And for all those students out there who just can’t wait until February 27th, we’ve got the perfect list to get the party started right booking now.
10.) The Narty:
A Night-Darty is a darty during the night. Shut the blinds on all the windows, hide all the clocks, and flood the rooms with artificial light so no one knows what time of day it is. When the sun finally comes up, open the blinds to reveal that it was actually a darty the whole time.
French, pronounced (Sanj-ayy) — a silent banger. This has all the great qualities of a regular banger, except it is silent. No music, and no talking. Every time you talk, you have to drink. These parties are pretty much impossible to shut down because the cops will never find them.
[fdxAds id=139877 container=fdx-container align=right]
This is a future-Disco. Everyone’s preoccupied with the discos that happened in the 70’s. This one’s from the future. All robots are welcome, everything is shiny, and it features all brand new music. Zero throwbacks, only stuff from Soundcloud that hasn’t “blown-up” yet. Random pieces of metal everywhere.
This is a Floor-Rager. Everybody is raging face, and the party is “lit,” but everything is happening on the floor. No one can stand up. Either butt or knees or stomach on the floor at all times. Somebody gets too wasted? Perfect, they are already on the floor so there is no risk of falling over or injuring yourself.
You’ve heard of the progressive? Everybody bouncing around from house to house. Well the “regressive” features everyone starting in different houses and slowly ending up in one location. This is hard to coordinate, but when done correctly you will have everyone “popping it off” at the same damn time.
5.) Investment Banger:
This is a formal business BANGER. Everyone in business attire partying as hard as they can for two hours, but when the clock strikes 12, the music shuts off and people must drunkenly pitch their business ideas to the room in a 3 minute presentation. PowerpPoints are encouraged. After they all present, the group of REAL investors that you invited to the party will pick one of the ideas to invest in. Also, if someone pukes during their presentation, their group is automatically disqualified.
4.) The Farty:
Nope, not what you’re thinking. This is a Fake Party. Tell that cute girl or that hot guy in your bio class that you’re having a little late-night shindig at your place. Invite him/her to a Facebook event you made. When he/she shows up at your place with their friends, tell them the party got shut down, and you and your roommates definitely need help finishing all the left-over beverages.
3.) Newt Gingrich Party:
People forget about Newt Gingrich. Invite him to your party. Celebrate him.
Professor-Mixer. Your professor has a life too, and it’s a lot more boring than yours (hopefully). Get your friends together and invite over all your profs, GSIs, and any other faculty/administrators you can find. It’ll make their day, and if they show up – auto A+ for you.
“911, what’s your emergency?” “Hi, we’re throwing down tonight at Karl’s house, you’re all invited.” “Ayyy no way!” That’s how we imagine it playing out. Why be scared of the po-po when you can just invite them to your party? This is a great way to make friends with the Five-O, and if not enough show up, make a couple anonymous noise complaints. They can’t bust you if you’re drinking in their honor. It’s in the rulebook.